Growing up on a farm 30 kilometers away from the nearest village, I began working every December at a vegetable shop located diagonally across from the bank starting at the age of 15. This experience eventually led to a job interview and an offer to join the bank when I was 18. I still clearly remember standing by the gates of Natal University among a massive crowd, explaining my choice to enter banking instead of pursuing a career in law. My father’s powerful words still resonate deeply with me: “If you did law you would do the law of the land but go to the bank and do justice, justice you can do anywhere.”

This dedication to community is why I go by the name Aunty B. To me, an “Aunty” is someone who anchors and supports their family or community. It is a title young people use for me, and it is how I want to be recognized across the continent. Although my given name is Barbara, the “B” represents being completely borderless—which is what it truly signifies for me.

When I was 20, I took a gap year to au-pair in London and backpack from Tel Aviv to a farm near Eilat, alongside other travels through Europe. Upon returning home, my career shifted, and I soon became the head of foreign exchange. It was in this role that I met my husband, an environmental scientist specializing in waste management—a field quite rare at the time. Our dating years were filled with me studying environmental science terminology in order to translate it for those around us. Later, at age 31, I became a bank manager.. Back then, he constantly brought up carbon credits, reeds, and dolomite. I often brushed it off, telling him I had balancing tellers to worry about rather than the environment. But one day, while we were driving to work, he gently took my hand at a red light and told me, “Babe, there will be NO bank if there’s NO environment.” That profound moment altered my life forever, and it remains the exact quote I use to open every talk and training session today .Later I would work with him for 5 years managing a landfill and later training integrated waste management to youth and communities. A journey to my current position training boards in both Corporate Governance and Ethics and ESG.

After ’94, I transitioned into the role of bank manager, constantly mindful that my grandmother, a Zulu woman, would never have been afforded the opportunity to stand in that office. Feeling a deep responsibility to honor that lineage, I made a personal pledge upon accepting the position: I would define my success by sharing a cup of coffee in my office every week with a Black woman, simply to acknowledge her. This commitment allowed me to engage meaningfully with women, offering them a dedicated space where they were included in the economy and supported in navigating their real-world challenges.

I entered spaces simply believing I belonged there. However, the boardrooms back then were lonely places—hardly anyone looked like me, and no one was in my age group. This isolation, combined with the massive pay gap between myself and my male colleagues, is what drove me into understanding equity . I had to master the mechanics of equity and shareholding, recognizing that these assets were entirely absent from the balance sheets of Black people at the time, as equity allocations were almost exclusively held by a white male majority.”

There’s a burden of obligation, a burden of representation, a burden of being the only one in the room. I have carried that burden — because I know how brilliant so many are, and why are they not in the room? And how can we get others in? I’m always looking for a way to get others in, always asking, who’s missing at the table? All our voices matter— because I can’t be their voice. I’ve just been sensitised to it. I did a shoot not so long ago, for a magazine, and I realised I’d be the only black woman in the magazine, and I thought, that’s a burden I don’t want to carry. I connected with a friend and asked, ‘Can we co-create the entry into this space, so there’s more than myself in there?’ and we did.

My heritage is woven into my very DNA, connecting me directly to my great-grandmother MaNdlovu and grandmother Mkhize through our shared clan songs—an identity that cannot be washed away. Yet, looking back on my journey, I realize that the surnames I carry have made the woman in my story invisible. Between Lawrence, an English name, and Strydom, my husband’s Afrikaans and Dutch surname, or my birth names Barbara and  Dianah, their stories are not visible, almost completely erased and obscured. This has sparked a deep self-determination within me to imagine an Africa where race is invisible or altogether erased. I want to remove the cataract of race from my own eyes, so that it no longer plays a part in how I perceive and profile the people around me.

The year my husband passed away, I undertook a journey from Cape to Cairo, volunteering as a coordinator and co-driver for someone who was differently abled—a journey that became my grief trip. It was on that trip I had defining conversations with God and I felt called to speak  about ownership and equity for stewardship, recognizing that they already hold everything. Receiving this profound calling made me deeply question what this gift is actually for.

“For me, the bottom line is a journey of three steps: remember, reimagine, and re-story, because we cannot truly reimagine the future without first remembering the past. This philosophy fuels my passion for ownership, equity, and stewardship—concepts that enable benefits to pass down from generation to generation. Our culture teaches us that you never eat the seed, a principle that reframes our thinking to eliminate ideas of poverty and lack. When you enter a space holding something of value in your own hands and see your own capabilities, it ignites your potential to step forward.”

“Whenever I secure a seat at the table, I consider it my responsibility to introduce this perspective into spaces where such an understanding doesn’t yet exist. To achieve this, I have spent the last eight years retraining minds around equity and ownership through stewardship labs and Master Dreamer sessions. Having already facilitated over 5,000 sessions during this time, my ultimate aspiration is to impact a million lives.”

“A central piece of this training is the creation of the African Currency Intelligence Model, which functions as a balance sheet tailored for an African person. It prompts us to ask vital questions: Where do our traditions belong on a balance sheet, and what constitutes our goodwill? How do we build our own frameworks when global standards are defined by others? Ultimately, it is about learning how to walk into a room with a full glass so we can accumulate more, ensuring our unique value systems keep us from being excluded from financial networks.”

I offered to sponsor a bench and its initial intention soon shifted and I needed to create the bench to remember invisible women, women who have impacted lives and create change. The eco brick bench was recommended and The Green Net collaboration began. They had already installed four benches and as we were discussing the details I thought, I need a ‘her’ in the eco story so that it becomes an echo. The logo has that beautiful woman’s face crafted in the H to create the echo.

By incorporating eco-bricks to divert waste and adding ‘her’ to bring forth the echo alongside a QR code, I carefully developed the entire concept piece by piece—from the QR code itself to the link and the submission form. Between now and the 9th of August, our target is to collect 70 tribute notes. In the year ahead, this initiative will expand into tree planting, ensuring that every woman honored in these tribute notes has her name dedicated to a tree. This allows nominating families to see a complete, living tree story unfold—a real story rooted in our core philosophy: remember, re-imagine, re-story. It is all right there.

I carry three guiding quotes into every space. The first, written for basketball players, advises us to “be where your feet are”—a reminder to look down and find grounding whenever life becomes turbulent. The other two are about impact,the lesson of the pebble: “If you just throw the pebble into the waters, don’t follow the vibration — trust that it is a vibration.” The third centers on the butterfly: “For as long as we are flapping our wings, where we are, a vibration crosses continents.” 

I am profoundly grateful for this journey, for the posture I am able to hold on this planet, and for everything that has been poured into my identity and being. Yet, I remain deeply mindful that this path comes with a great responsibility—a duty for gifting, shaping, reshaping, remembrance, mentioning, and sustaining a story.

We extend our sincere thanks to with our current collaborators: The African Monarch Group, The Centre for Mental Wellness and Leadership, Sis Pinky, and Nakanyane Seriti Path Coaching and all our sponsors.

To adopt a bench, donate or nominate a woman who shaped your life, visit www.auntybAfrica.co.za

Instagram @barbaralawrencestrydom

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@barbaralawrencestrydom

The post I Need A Her in The Echo – The Africa I See You Series, By Barbara Lawrence-Strydom (Aunty B) appeared first on Sheevolves.world.

You fall apart on your bathroom floor
These four walls torment me day and night
You spend your mornings collecting the tears
Your evenings counting the scars
How silly it is,
That the weeds keep shooting up in the garden that is your heart .
You pluck them out
To replace them with flowers of joy
Then told you are not made for love ,
Can’t handle the game ,
Can’t let go .

You fall apart on your bathroom floor ,
Struggling to find you
You lost in the midst of the daydreams ,
You pick up the shattered pieces of your soul ,
Putting together your essence .

Poem: By Nomakhosi Ncube

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In this powerful episode, women of color share their honest experiences with the heavy burden of the “strong Black woman” trope. We explore how society expects Black women to always be brave, resilient, and unbreakable — often at the cost of their emotional well-being and ability to ask for help.

Natasha opens up about growing up under this label and the pressure it creates, while Christina shares her journey as a mother navigating vulnerability in a world that rewards toughness. Together, they discuss:

• The dangers of the “strong Black woman” stereotype and how it normalizes oppression
• Why being called “so strong” can actually prevent women from showing vulnerability
• The fear of letting go of the “strong” or “reliable” identity
• How historical and cultural expectations shape womanhood for women of color
• The importance of human connection, emotional support, and relearning to ask for help
• Moving beyond either/or labels — you can be strong AND vulnerable

This conversation challenges the idea that strength means suffering in silence and encourages women to embrace their full humanity — emotions, needs, and all.

If you’re a woman of color tired of carrying the weight alone, or anyone interested in authentic discussions on race, gender, vulnerability, and feminine strength, this episode will resonate deeply.

Watch until the end and share in the comments:
Have you ever been told “you’re so strong” when you needed support instead? How do you balance strength with vulnerability?

Drop your thoughts below — let’s create space for real conversations.

Subscribe to She Evolves World for more raw, honest talks on womanhood, identity, personal growth, and evolving together.

#StrongBlackWoman #BlackWomen #Vulnerability #Womanhood #FeminineStrength #BreakingStereotypes #EmotionalWellbeing #SheEvolvesWorld #InHerOwnWords

Timestamps (coming soon)

Video uploaded: November 2021

The post In Her Own Words Ep 3 – The Strong Black Woman Stereotype: Vulnerability, Strength & Societal Labels appeared first on Sheevolves.world.

In She Evolves Video 4, Kicia shares her raw, inspiring journey of survival and transformation.

From an unplanned pregnancy after betrayal, enduring emotional and physical abuse, single motherhood under judgment, and cultural pressures — to rising above it all and leaving her municipal job to pursue her dream: creating a Trauma Center for abused children and girls.

This episode is a testament to turning pain into purpose, breaking cycles of neglect and abuse, and becoming the strongest version of yourself so you can help others heal. Kicia’s story highlights loyalty, strength in adversity, music therapy, community support, and the power of not giving up.

If you’ve faced hardship in relationships, family, or life and are still standing — this one will speak to you.

Share your story of resilience or what inspired you most in the comments!

Watch Video 3 here: https://youtu.be/V1_oBjBhCHQ

#SheEvolves #WomenEmpowerment #Resilience #OvercomingAbuse #TraumaHealing #SingleMotherhood #PersonalGrowth #InspirationalStory

The post She Evolves Video 4: From Trauma to Building a Trauma Center – Kicia’s Powerful Story of Resilience appeared first on Sheevolves.world.

I know pain ,
I have felt her in my soul
Tasted her on my tongue
Her taste leaving behind
Bitterness and rage ,
Locked away in a cage ,
My story is written on one page
I have been broken

Shattered , I have been hopeless
With no dreams of tomorrow
Mine has been a tale of sorrow .

I know pain
Faithful she has been
To my body she would cling
Stripping me of joy
No voice would answer when I called
Pain has been my blanket in the cold ,
She came bearing empty promises
Of laughter and a good home
I have lost it all
A stranger to love I am
Happiness left just as fast as she came ,
I know pain
I may not know laughter but I do know pain
For I have stayed with her ,
Dined with her ,
Like a lover I am never without her ,
Her fingerprints are tattered on my skin ,
No soap can ever wash me clean
Of her marks
The sickening feel of her arrival ,
Forever in my mind
Her knock on the doors of my soul

Never gets old
Worn out
My lover pain
Has left me withered .

By Nonsikelelo Moyo

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We live in the age of highlights
Smiles are uploaded , struggles are archived
Strength is filtered , pain is cropped

But mental health does not live in captions
It lives in the quiet spaces , between
Expectations and exhaustion , faith and fear
Success and silence

I learned this the hard way
There was a time I thought strength meant endurance without confession
That resilience meant silence . That being okay was a responsibility not a reality
I could motivate others , show up for people , lead , build , create ,
Yet still go home internally empty . functioning but not fine

Mental health struggles rarely arrive with announcements

They arrive disguised as fatigue , irritability , loss of joy ,
Spiritual dryness , disconnection
A constant mental noise you cannot switch off

In many of our communities we are taught to pray but not always to process ,
To believe but not always to speak
To endure but not always to feel ,

Yet healing begins where honesty enters ,
Let us speak
Let us listen
Let us heal , out loud.

By MAKHOSINI S MPOFU

The post The Quiet Battles We Don’t Post About~ By MAKHOSINI S MPOFU appeared first on Sheevolves.world.

Mental health refers to one’s emotional, psychological and social well- being. It affects how one thinks, feels and behaves and it also determines how one can handle stress, relate to others and make decisions and choices. Thus, good mental health enables you to deal with life’s challenges, realise your potential and abilities, learn and work well, contribute to your community as well as form and maintain healthy relationships. Mental health is an important part of one’s well-being, yet it is one of the most misunderstood and stigmatized aspects of health. It is therefore vital to explore what mental health issues are, why they matter and how societies can better address them.

According to WHO more than one billion people globally live with a mental health condition, making it one of the leading causes of disability worldwide. In Zimbabwe it is a common thing to find mentally challenged people roaming the streets. It is worrisome to note that many more people succumb to stress and depression due to social and economic reasons. Experts describe mental health as a public health emergency, with rising rates of depression, anxiety and stress- related disorders found across all age groups.

Common mental health issues comprise depression, that is persistent sadness, loss of interest, fatigue and lack of sleep that affect one’s daily life. Anxiety disorders emanating from excessive worry, panic attacks and other physical symptoms like rapid mood changes and violence depict mental health challenges. Some people struggle with mental health as a result of drug abuse and substance use. I have witnessed disheartening incidences of people struggling with mental health issues. At my workplace some student teachers have to postpone their studies in order to seek medication as a result of substance use. Even when they return to resume their studies, you can still see that they would be vulnerable and struggling. At one point we had a female student who was raped while on work integrated learning. Although the culprit was arrested and the girl received counseling and medical treatment, the traumatizing incident left an undetectable mark on her well-being.

There is also the sad case of a colleague’s son who committed suicide after completing his Advanced Level. Unknown to his parents, he had been struggling with drug and substance abuse. The heart wrecking incident of a fellow congregant who returned home from church to find his son who had been struggling with drug addiction), having set fire to the entire homestead, struck and murdered his pregnant wife with a matchet and then burnt the body. The mother had to flee for dear life together with her three grandchildren (children of the man who had killed his wife). Mental health issues are not merely an individual problem, they also affect families and the society at large.

They say prevention is better than cure. Healthy lifestyle approaches are necessary. It is therefore imperative to exercise self-care strategies such as mindfulness and meditation. This helps to reduce stress and increase self-awareness. Exercising boosts mood and it is essential for one to have adequate sleeping time. One also needs to have healthy eating habits and avoid loneliness by building and maintaining healthy relationships and community ties.

Early intervention is important. There is need to be one’s brother’s keeper. Recognizing symptoms of health challenges and seeking professional help early is important. Expanding affordable therapy, counseling and community-based support is very important. It is also important to reduce stigma through open conversations in order to normalize mental health struggles. I remember one of our students who had just returned from receiving therapy for drug addiction, coming to my office with a notebook saying, “Mam, I want to learn to write books like you do. Here is what I got from the library.” He read to me what appeared to be lacking coherence but I praised him so as to boost his confidence and then gave him the advice he needed. He left a contended young man and I felt that I had assisted him well without showing any stigmatization.

Mental health issues are therefore not just personal struggles, they are societal challenges that require collective action. By providing the awareness, accessibility and compassion, communities can foster resilience and ensure that mental health is treated with the same urgency and respect as physical health. Mental health is a prerequisite for everyone.

By Perpetua Gonese

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Hurt and Hatred caused by Love ~ By Anonymous
African Woman| African Stories| Story telling| 1000′ Stories, 100 000 Trees| Healing| Life| Challenges| Lack of education| Environment|
#TrueStory
shot by: Tshepo Dlamini, Poortjie change maker
​
Watch on Facebook:

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POEM:

Arise and claim your throne

You, a queen that has fallen

The one with the buried kingdom and forgotten the throne

You, who surrendered her strength to the struggle

The pain cut off your wings

You could not fly

You stayed on the ground

Let go of the passion you possessed

Buried the dreams and wishes.

Arise and chase dreams

You, the dreamer who gave in

To the pressure of planet earth

Spiraling you to a life of no hope

The heat convinced you that you didn’t belong

That you were nothing but basic

So you curved in

Just to fit in.

Arise and love again

You, whose heart has been shattered

Mishandled by those you gave yourself to

The one’s who could not love your heart

The soul you poured out

Into a bottomless cup

So you took back your care

Stone cold

You locked away your heart.

POEM By : Nonsikelelo Moyo

Social media: Facebook

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POEM:

Do you remember?

When we laughed without fear,

The days of milk and honey

Back when we lived for today

Never afraid of tomorrow

Smiles decorated our child like faces

As we twirled and danced our fears away

Offsprings of love and peace

Naive to the world and its rage

We held on to hope

Never letting the sun set on our dreams

Yes, we did fall

Only to get up and glide ourselves with our armor of faith and resilience

Yes, we did break,

Only to rebuild ourselves into towers unbreakable

Do you remember?

When we walked hand in hand

We were a force, an army unshakable

You stood for me

I fought for you.

Long gone are our days of unity

Old are the tales of our victories

Do you remember?

It has all passed.

POEM BY: Nonsikelelo Moyo

Social media: Facebook

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