I am a female, bold and bright all day long
I sweat and still go on
I pull up and show up in my hood
The compliments from my peers sometimes overwhelm
Reality strikes and weighs on my shoulders
It is the pressure that comes with a compliment

I go to my hood with pride
I always look forward to seeing where all of my success started
Where my current derives from
I feel and I am touched by the circumstances, yet
The reality strikes and weighs on my shoulders
It is the pressure that comes with a compliment

My home town Is my home
Not only my mama’s house but the entire hood carries me
My peers show long appreciation
Elders give love and expectations
Drilled into being a role model
Striking a balance between being me and still rolling for those who look up to me
The reality strikes and weighs on my shoulders
It is the pressure that comes with a compliment

I do charity work
I show up and bring change
I get compliments, and the bar is raised higher
I am just a little one who wants to be treated like every young one in my hood
This instant respect, even from elders, is overwhelming
The reality strikes and weighs on my shoulders
It is the pressure that comes with a compliment

I am a female, bold and bright all day long
I pull up and show up in my hood
The compliments from my peers sometimes overwhelm
The reality strikes and weighs on my shoulders
It is the pressure that comes with a compliment

BY-Nonny

The post Poem: The Pressure that comes with compliments appeared first on Sheevolves.world.

My name is Sophie Ntsubulane, and I was born in the Eastern Cape. I am a 37-year-old African woman with a passion for life, changes, and bettering livelihoods. At the age of 6 years, my mom moved to Orange farm with me and my siblings. we did not know my dad at the time as he was a mine worker. When I was 8 years old, my dad returned home, and we only knew him then, but unfortunately, we never got to bond as he was an abusive, alcoholic father who was then unemployed. My mother was the only one working as a domestic worker; however, money wasn’t enough to give us a decent upbringing.

My educational background was delayed as our home was more of a child-headed family; I had to look after my siblings and ensure every household chore was done daily while my mom was at work. That resulted in me being in grade R at age 9, but that never discouraged me because I had a love for education and the drive to bring change into my life, including my siblings. One day, my teacher intervened as she noticed there was something wrong with me; the case dragged on till they took a decision to send me and my siblings to a foster care children’s home. I spent my teen years in the children’s home care till I matriculated in 2004, but that was the beginning of my second round of life disaster. Home confirmed that they could not keep me any longer because I was done with school, and no funds would be donated under my name as I’m of age. I had to pack and go back home on my last day in matric, leaving my siblings behind.

I arrived home, and my mom had another man and kids. She was then unemployed, an alcoholic and did not care of my added siblings. The situation was even worse. All that drove me to move in with a guy who Is now the father of my kids. We got our shack and shared a life together. 2005, I fell pregnant with my first child; everything changed from then as my partner started cheating on me, abused me and was never the same. Been in an abusive relationship till 2007, when I moved to my new place in Drieziek 5 to start a new life alone. With time moving, I got back with my man, and he then moved to my place.

1 day, I was on Facebook, met this woman via her clothing drive initiative, and it turned out she was going through the same thing; we shared stories and ended up forming a group to register an NPO that focused on women in abuse.  That’s how I came up with Pink Spot. It is now focused on GBV, and there’s 1 exciting one,“ groom a boy child”, which will help deal with the boys at a young age before they grow to be abusive monsters whom we are faced with now as our partners because of all the traumas they endured in their upbringing. At Pink Spot, we also focused on feeding Scheme to the needy and helping children with homework daily. I ended the abusive relationship, now with my kids and focused on my NPO “ pink spot “Their growth and success mean a lot to me.

I love and enjoy helping others. I am Sophie, the so-called “ Mam Sophie” in my area. I am known for change and my strong drive to bring light to those who need it.

Thank you.

The post My name is Sophie, AKA “Mam Sophie” and this is my story. appeared first on Sheevolves.world.

As I began to assimilate and became part of my community, through discussions and constant deliberations with the chiefs, the locals, the academics/learned/intellectuals, as well as those in the diaspora, I quickly realized that my quest for development in my community would never be a one-person game. I became aware that there is a short circuit in the flow of engagement amongst community members. People in my community generally associate themselves according to political affiliations, family ties, social status, villages, etc. Therefore, I decided to create a platform (Tukombo Today) that will act as a bridge to bring them together to have a consensus in building our community. The idea was “well” received, but the challenge was skepticism, distrust, and political and family differences. The platform had (still has) a snail’s pace on the flow of information. Yes, meaningful ideas were being shared. Also, concerns were being expressed, albeit treading on eggs. But however great the ideas were, they lacked a unified force to actualize them. In my view -this was a platform (a boardroom, as I call it) to bridge the engagement block. But still, people could not engage freely and unbiasedly with one common goal due to trivial matters that have crippled development. I have realized it is not unique to my village but to Africa as a whole.

Another huge challenge was that however great the developmental ideas were, the struggle was that most members were based in different cities, towns, and countries. Therefore, they needed more feasibility on the ground, physically ensuring that some of the ideas were shared with the relevant stakeholders in the village. The challenge was decoding these ideas into a layman’s language that the general public and chiefs would understand. I realized that our priorities were different, and our vision in terms of development ran on parallel lines; therefore, merging the two was a dream that “might” never be a reality, the demise of my community and Africa. My mind and heart would be overwhelmed as I saw my vision for a better Tukombo becoming a burden instead of a blessing. A unified force will never work under such conditions. The ideas got suffocated before they could see any daylight. My community has so many opportunities for greatness, considering its location close to the lake, excellent weather, fantastic scenery, unique natural vegetation, a heritage site that has ancient carvings, naturally warm water springs, and is home to some of the most prominent political leaders Like Aleke Banda and his wife, Mbumba Margaret Banda. Recently gold was discovered in my village. All of these opportunities lie dormant because people fail to come together to “agree to disagree’’ to ensure that they maximize the available resources to build a better community. The other challenge is ”the bwana mentality,” the scramble for positions in any community committee, especially by the locals to gain respect and access to resources. Celebrity status is especially used by those with resources to manipulate the locals to partner with them, manipulating them to their advantage. If a person comes with noble ideas and does not belong to either of the groups, there would be little or no local support. The person becomes a threat to those scrambling for positions or a threat to the community celebrities. Any noble efforts face many red tapes, and secret agents or monitoring personnel are deployed to spy and report to their ‘’master’’. Therefore, instead of making friends, a Pandora’s box of enemies is opened. It makes it difficult to trust anyone with any information on development for fear of ideas being stolen by people with the speed of light to ensure they remain celebrated (bwana mentality) – the battle for village/community celebrity. I have been debating whether to continue with the mission of working together through shared ideas or go solo since I have individually made minor impacts through financial help from just a few friends, but an impact nonetheless.

I have realized that development is not only in terms of infrastructure but a changed life and mindset. Therefore, I plan to implement progressive developmental change through whatever efforts I can manage and any assistance I receive. I have started a youth leadership program, a girl empowerment program, as the youths are the soul and future of the community. Hopefully, I will live to see my dreams of a better Tukombo.

Being an activist for community development comes with many burdens; however, it can never quench the desire to see a better life for my community and country because it is the place I call home.

Story by:

Cathrine Banda, from Mzuzu Malawi. She is a Community Activist, Motivational Speaker, Writer, Poet, Former Radio Presenter The 1873 FM, Johannesburg South Africa

cathrinetwabi@gmail.com

The post Diary of a village girl: Tukombo – Parrarel Mindsets appeared first on Sheevolves.world.

To be born African means to have been born on the African continent, which is the second-largest and second-most populous continent in the world. Africa is a continent with a rich history and diverse cultures, with over 54 countries and more than 1.3 billion people.

Being born African can mean different things depending on peoples’ experiences and upbringing. For many, it means being part of a vibrant and diverse community with its own unique traditions, languages, and customs. It can also mean facing challenges such as poverty, inequality, and political instability that have been prevalent in many African countries.

Being born African can also mean having a deep connection to the land and its resources, as many African cultures are deeply rooted in agriculture and natural resources. It can mean having a sense of community and family that is strengthened by shared experiences and cultural practices.

However, it is important to note that being born African does not define a person’s identity or limit their potential. African people have made significant contributions to the world in various fields such as science, arts, politics, and sports, and continue to do so. Being African can be a source of pride and identity, but it should not be a limiting factor in a person’s personal or professional aspirations.

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I am Biankie. I’m a young black African woman. In my community, women have no say, women are not given the opportunity to be leaders, and a community where domestic violence is the norm.

This is my story.

Biankie, The Black African Woman Against Domestic Violence

I was born into a family of five. Three brothers, a sister, and myself. A family where physical, mental, verbal and domestic violence is the norm because of the community I come from. I grew up seeing women in my community suffering.

Many women lost their lives because of the countless beatings and insults from the men they married. Yet nothing is being done about these men. My mom was part of those women. As young as I was, there was no time I had peace in the place I called home. Knives, cooking utensils, and irons were fighting tools in my house. This continued until I turned twenty, and two of my brothers married. My big brother Kofi got married to a lovely young lady. As did my second brother Atinbila.Their marriages were full of joy, and I admired their marriages.

I graduated from law school. I, Biankie, wanted to make a difference. I wanted to be the first female president in my country. I wanted to be that black African woman who would give voiceless women a voice. As the years passed, I won many cases as a lawyer. I also set up many organizations to help women mentally and physically damaged by domestic violence.

When I was twenty-five, I decided to visit my brothers as it had been a long time since I’d seen them and their new family, so I went to Kofi, happy to knock on the door, only for me to see his wife disorganized, a young lady coming out with a broken head, one red eye, and full of tears.

I sat her down and asked why. I asked what had happened. It was her husband. My brother. So, I left her house and told her to meet me in my office the next day. Out of anger, I took my bag and went straight to my second brother’s house. I knocked and noticed no one was coming. I knocked again and met a pregnant woman with marks on her body. I shouted and asked why. She told me it was her husband. My brother.

As a lawyer, people knew me. I mostly had a lot of cases of domestic violence. I was nicknamed BIANKIE, THE BLACK AFRICA WOMAN AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. The question now was, how do I fight? It was my family, and I was the voice of women. My country was looking at me. Was I going to represent my brothers? Or stand by their wives? I had family members coming to me saying the family is family.

“I stand as lawyer to defend these two women, my lord.”

Justice was served.

An African woman is like a lion, ready to protect.

Ready to die.

Ready to love.

Story by Asem Martina Biankie

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I have always had the urge to go back home to Malawi and be part of the builders of my community and the country at large. Though born and raised in Zimbabwe by Malawian parents, my love for Malawi developed when I arrived there in 2004, still a child yet old enough to know good from the bad. 

I instantly fell in love with an odd way of life in my parents’ villages, both my mother’s and father’s sides. I fell in love with the country’s innocence, the people oblivious of a life other than their way of living. Indeed, ignorance sometimes is bliss. I was raised, in my view, in an average home with running water, a bathtub, electricity, a stove, a fridge, and sleeping on a bed. I naively thought that this lifestyle was a common way of life for everyone everywhere across the world. Sleeping on a mukeka or African mat in my parent’s village in Malawi was not a shock but a roller-coaster adventure for me. Fetching water was the most exhilarating experience. Carrying tons of buckets with my cousins and brothers, contrary to our small family way back in Zimbabwe, I was faced with many cousins in Malawi, an unfamiliar sight, but it was such a pleasure. We would take turns swinging the borehole wheel until we filled all the buckets. 

Cooking was quite exciting, and mealtime was beyond enjoyable. We sat amidst more than 20 people near the kitchen, chit-chatting while we waited for the food to be served. We had to sit in groups, males separate from females. Just as the mothers comprised their separate group, so did the children. Each group had to be served from a communal dish according to their gender and age. 

After three months of this pleasurable village experience, my father took me back to Zimbabwe. I vowed in my heart that I would return. Years later, the nudge to return to Malawi was still stirring in me. In 2014, a mature woman, I decided to relocate and work in Malawi. By then, I understood that some of the first pleasant experiences I had encountered resulted from lack and poverty. I worked in Malawi for eight months, only to be so disappointed by the new experiences of hardships. The people and the country were going through tough times due to poor governance and political misalignment. At that time, I did not find anything pleasant about my country, so I left despite my inward-burning desire to help. 

Subsequently, in 2021, I mentally prepared myself for disappointment and discomfort. I went to live in Tukombo, my parent’s village in Malawi’s Northern region. This village comprises of Tonga-speaking people, one of the tribes that pioneered multi-party rule through Aleke Banda and are also known to be the most intelligent and educated tribe in Malawi.

I realised that my community needed help urgently. So, I contacted the Traditional Authority (TA) of the land to help and found out which areas needed immediate attention. To my shock, I was given a Bible of needs, and with no financial resources, I felt helpless and hopeless. However, although hopeless, I was confident that I could reach out to some of my trusted and valued friends with whom I had built trustful relationships over the years based on our common interests, spiritual foundation, or vision of building the Africa we want. It is an Africa with a prosperous future for the present and future generations. 

I embarked on a solo journey of knocking on every one of my friend’s doors for financial assistance, hoping to have a good response. Indeed, most of my friends fell head over heels without hesitation in extending their financial resources in helping to build my village while building the Africa we want, one village at a time. Yes, there have been a few exceptions whereby I had some emotional wrecking experiences. Some potential donors I approached thought that I shouldn’t be “appealing” for financial assistance at this stage in my life and that I was a failure and an embarrassment to society. Therefore, I should have never reached out to them or shared the philanthropic request work I was doing. Nevertheless, through various resources and help from friends, we have managed to renovate the village court/office, helped construct a nursery block, bought chairs for the community court and distributed food parcels and clothes to the community. Once the news started reaching out to some of the people in the diaspora who shared the same passion for building or facelifting the community, the response to contribute multiplied tremendously. Many reached out to me and expressed their commitment to joining hands to improve the village. 

I partnered with my fellow brothers and sisters from Tukombo, mainly based outside the country, to extend the existing clinic into a hospital. Each person would contribute as little as US$6. With all this being done with a couple of close friends, the most mind-boggling question comes to mind: How does the government of Malawi fail to deliver on the smallest of services when a small group of friends can bring change within a couple of months? Where does our government fail in service delivery? What are the priorities in the national expenditure, and what should they be? 

Meanwhile, Tukombo village has diverse so-called development committees that convene countless meetings, with little or no tangible deliverables on the ground. Is it because of a lack of focus on the bigger picture regarding vision, genuine sense of duty, unity for purpose, or unity of purpose? Could this be attributed to a lack of a shared mindset, education, drive or enthusiasm to live well in Malawi? 

Unfortunately, despite the continent’s immense potential, there are similar heart-wrenching cases across Africa. The abovementioned drawbacks pose unsurmountable obstacles to true meaningful emancipation and economic freedom. But we must face these challenges and forge a more livable and prosperous Africa. Our experience in Tukumbo village must help us to create a hopeful community with successful tangible development goals.

Written by: 

Cathrine Banda, Community Activist

Tukombo Village, Nkhatabay, Malawi

Mobile: +265 881 69 30 58 

Email: cathrinetwabi@gmail.com

The post Diary of a Village Girl: Creating Hope in my Community appeared first on Sheevolves.world.

There are subjects or ideas we cannot talk about here in Egypt, like women’s rights. You will not be able to talk about relationships and politics. Getting your point of view out to the public in Egypt is challenging.

I studied filmmaking, and I am an independent filmmaker. I like to do documentary films, whatever the genre of the film.

We don’t have the opportunity to screen our films. You will get the chance if you have relatives or a friend who is of higher authority. But, if you don’t, you will never get the opportunity. So you take another track to become known in filmmaking in feature or short movies. As independent filmmakers, we submit our films to festivals and organisations outside Egypt, like The Berlin Film Festival or Sundance.

In my films, I focus on what people are like on the inside. I ignore the outside. I like to focus on their humanity. I want to explore their inner attitude, their feelings and thoughts, and what life means to them. Sometimes I see people are so empty inside, like a machine. I see people with something good inside, yet they are afraid. They fear what their community might think and what people will say.

Living in a country where you cannot speak up makes me feel like I need to emigrate and live anywhere. It’s not about the country. It’s about the people and the government because they are very conservative, and our government does not allow people to think. The government is fearful of what people think. People are afraid. When I communicate with anybody here, I hear them say it’s okay, it’s good. I don’t debate with anybody.

I don’t need to be like them. I need to be someone simple, someone unique, someone different. I need to be good with other people. I need to have humanity inside me and humanity in my attitude, humanity in my mind, my heart, and my soul.

When I sit with my friends, we talk about God, and we talk about relationships. We talk about life, humanity, and all different topics. We question our existence. and sometimes we don’t have any answers. Actually, we never get a result or the answer to this question.  We have flexibility in our discussions, and we do not judge.

In Egypt, women who are genuinely feminists face a lot of problems. Walking in the street, they experience harassment and in the workplace, in transportation. They are trying to survive. It’s not only here in Egypt, but I think it happens everywhere in the world.

We have young women who just need to marry, but we also have young women who need to work, learn, and get a degree, and that’s good, but they face many problems with their families and community. I know some women who travel and emigrate if they are not married. If a woman is single, an adult and her family allow it, she can travel. Sometimes married women can travel if their husband accepts it. If he’s not accepting, she’ll never travel. A husband can have so much influence.

When I was at school, from five to seventeen years old, boys and girls were the same. The boys were my friends, and they were like my brothers. It’s at university, and when one starts to work that things change. I have seen a lot of men taking the upper hand. I understand men are men, but it’s only a different gender; ultimately, we are all human. This life’s so temporary. We can enjoy success in this life, but we must see our humanity. For me, film is such a great way to connect to people. To show a different perspective and act as a trigger for people to question that perhaps there is another way.

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A few weeks ago, I came across the United Nations (UN) calendar for international days. According to this calendar, 31 August is International Day for People of African Descent. This UN holiday was created to celebrate the diverse heritage and several contributions of people of African descent. The African diaspora has long been recognized for its spirit and contributions to art, culture, science, and other fields. Furthermore, the African diaspora continues to mark a distinctive presence and positive impact in several parts of the world. International Day for People of African Descent is a day where we honour a vibrant culture and the international community of African people.

The UN describes this day as a day that “aims to eliminate all forms of discrimination against people of African descent.” International days are created to reflect society’s values, and it is evident that African communities from all over the world have shared commonalities. The UN also highlights that all human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights and have the potential to contribute constructively to the development and well-being of their societies. Therefore, “any doctrine of racial superiority is scientifically false, morally condemnable, socially unjust, and dangerous and must be rejected, together with theories that attempt to determine the existence of separate human races.” Celebrating this day highlights the UN’s racial equality and cultural diversity mission. This day is an opportunity for people to learn more about African heritage and culture through film, dance, music, art, and other manifestations of political and scientific contributions of people of African descent.

Unfortunately, such days often go uncelebrated or not given the hype it deserves. Because we do not want to miss out on an opportunity to celebrate African women, She Evolves has decided to use such days to share the stories and lives of the extraordinary African women who have changed the global community for the better. This includes writers, advocates, politicians, musicians, actors, and so much more. After all, if we don’t do our best to share and write about these stories and contributions, who will?

So every month, She Evolves will share a story and information about a woman of African descent who has helped change the global discourse. So please stay tuned to this series and share stories of African women who have positively impacted and changed your life. So leave us a comment below, letting us know of any women whose stories you think we need to feature and let us tell the stories we wish we had heard when we were growing up.

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As someone who was born and raised in an African rural villages, I can confirm that the stigma associated with mental health disorders is as normal as the sound of a rooster at dawn. People who suffer from mental health disorders are often bullied, harassed, shamed, and discriminated against.

I realised that when people don’t understand something (especially within the health category), they tend to build different and biased concepts about it – concepts that are easy to rationalise and that are usually false. Consequently, these “made-up” concepts eventually travel from one point of the community to another, creating serious misconceptions, myths, and taboos. These “made-up” concepts build communities that are disconnected to realities of mental health disorders, which consequently fortifies the stigma associated with mental health in African communities.

 Mental health and therapy are amongst the top misunderstood and stigmatized topics within the majority of African communities. Consequently, those who suffer from mental health disorders shy away from opening up or to seeking the necessary help. According to a recent study conducted by the World Health Organization, “although there are known, effective treatments for mental disorders, more than 75% of people in low-and middle-income countries receive no treatment.” And even though there are other reasons associated with this skyrocketing percentage, social stigma accounts for most of it.

There is an unquestionable gap between mental health disorders and the mental health treatments within African communities. This calls for urgent and effective actions to significantly narrow this gap. This starts with awareness through education. African communities ought to have leaders (this can be anyone from household parents, to school teachers to municipal elected leaders) that are compelled to inform and to spread information that is true and precise about the nature of mental health disorders and why receiving the necessary treatment is so important. Communities ought to encourage more supportive structures. Creating safe spaces within social groups, friend groups, and within households can create and develop these supportive structures. Essentially, educating ourselves, our families (including children), co-workers, and friends, has the potential to contribute significantly towards dissolving the stigma around mental health and therapy within African communities. 

On a personal note, I was fortunate enough to have a loving family (supportive structure) growing up. However, my family was strict and layered with so many boundaries – so, even as a young adult dealing with mental health challenges, I still find it a little bit difficult to confide in them (BUT I AM TRYING!). 

If you are suffering from any mental health disorder, you can help raise awareness by educating others about your condition and treatment. If you have not yet opened up because of the fear of being judged or you haven’t started treatment because of the stigma attached to it, I would suggest that you firstly gather all your strength to acknowledge that you require assistance, thereafter, I would suggest that you push that strength a little further by reaching out to people you trust for the compassion, support, and understanding you need to see yourself through. 

“Learning to accept your condition and recognize what you need to do to treat it, seeking support, and helping educate others can make a big difference.” – Mayo Clinic.

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