These four walls are all I have seen for the past two months. This walk from my bedroom to the sitting room to the kitchen- dining room out to the porch, bathroom, and the guest room, that is all have seen these days. How did my life change so suddenly? I was once the most adventurous girl on the block, but now it is pitiful just how pathetic I have become. I wonder where all my social skills migrated to. I was that ambitious person who took risks and always had a smile on her face. It is ironic how before this, I used to want to stay indoors to read or watch movies all day long and now…oh, how I would love to go to those dreadful family get-togethers. I know I sound crazy…and the sad part is that I feel just as crazy, maybe crazier than I sound. 

I kept looking out the window and hoping that anyone, even Suzan, the girl I could not stand, would just appear outside and talk to me. Face-to-face, not just online. How could the world suddenly shut down like this? We are social beings! We thrive off the energy of people as well as their attention, me more than others. I know how I sound, but…this monster came when I actually liked my life. It was going just fine. My studies, my friends, my family, everything was good, excellent even. And, of course, when they said we had to go home, all I thought was, “oh, how fun! I can stay in bed all day!” But I did not foresee the toll it would have on me. I keep hearing the voices that used to be quiet, silent and patiently waiting for a time like this, when I was alone, and before I thought that would never happen to me. I was always sheltered by people. I made sure of it. Until I was not!  

Music plays every second of the day to fill the demanding silence. Where my thoughts, voices, words, and ideas brood over me like a deafening cloud, overwhelming my senses to the brim. Every now and then, I burst into tears. Hiding is no good! Where, I ask? No one is there to see, judge or at the least hear them. What a life I have! 

Losing track of time is a common fixture. Today could be Tuesday or Sunday. I cannot tell… it is too much work to check. The phone ringing is another regularity, every day at the same time. My award-winning acting of pretending to be okay, productive and happy while burying an active volcano deep inside is just oscar-winning! How can I answer questions about my mental health when I do not know either. Oh, how I wish I knew! Can someone else face my demons for me? Instead, I am forever compelled to listen to the raucous roar of conflicting voices every waking second, and I cannot seem to understand why the universe and all the gods doomed me for the rest of my days.

In the brief moments when it is all quiet and peaceful in my head, I remember the days when I was just a college student, staying in the city, away from my overbearing and protective parents. When I was on top of the world, I was invincible well, except for the exam papers, which were torture. 

That tiny pocket of air where I would call my friends, catch up with them, and see how they were doing in the lockdown. I would look around and think, “I can do this, I can be okay”,- but that positivity disappears in a blink of an eye, and I am back to where I started…empty, alone, except for the voices.

How does one survive one vicious past that keeps haunting and taunting relentlessly? How does one deal with such a time like this when isolated from humanity? Yet, they can see that there is still hope to live, love, and laugh. Is this how I will end up, along with ten, maybe twenty cats baking cookies for my nonexistent grandkids? Okay, I am a bit, if not highly, dramatic and self-pitting, but what am I supposed to think about? I am going through a lot, and maybe, or ideally, I should admit myself to a hospital. But they might as well turn me away, as I am too much for them to handle in this oppressive and insufferable pandemic. What am I to do but wallow in pain and endure to the end of this pandemic or of me, whichever comes first? 

By Vannesa Birungi

Insta handle: @vannesa.birungi

The post Dear Diary: The COVID-19 Pandemic hit me hard! appeared first on Sheevolves.world.

In South Africa, we are currently on a 3rd wave of the covid-19 surge. It is somewhat hard to tell what went south with the progress we were making. A couple of months ago, the numbers seemed to be improving and the restrictions were loosened. Now, it feels like we are back at square one. The restrictions are currently as tight as they were during the first months of the emergence of this pandemic. And now, more than ever, our hope lie in the preventative measure which is the vaccine. But the big question among many is; does it work and if so, how? 

Alongside the worries, fear, and concerns we are all currently facing. We are also getting introduced to new medical terms which were once only used in and by medical practitioners. Terms such as vaccines, immunity and a few more are being used with reckless abandon and most of us are feeling confused and uncertain of what it all means. The introduction of vaccines on the surface of our vocabulary has, just like covid-19, sparked a lot of questions coupled with anxiety.

Is it safe to take? Will its effect somehow negatively impact or alter other biological and physiological functions in the long run? If not, how can we be sure? Some people are also wondering if all this is just a scam or worse, some kind of a bioweapon? And what is a vaccine made of?

The Oxford concise color medical dictionary explains vaccine as a special preparation of antigenic material that can be used to stimulate the development of antibodies and thus confer active immunity against a specific disease or number of diseases.” 

In simpler terms, vaccination is a procedure whereby an inactive/false virus or bacteria are introduced into your body. This is done so that the body’s immune system can recognize said false virus or bacteria as foreign and harmful. When the inactivated virus is in the body, it triggers the production of a “blood protein” (called an antibody), as a way to fight off the intruder (inactivated virus). The body produces more and more of the antibodies so that in the future, if the same virus (whether active or not) enters the body, it won’t survive because the body recognizes it as foreign and harmful. And most importantly, now the body knows how to fight it off. 

And while the the inactive bacteria/virus cannot make you sick. You may experience side effects of the vaccine as your body adjusts to this new virus or bacteria in the body. This is the case for any other medication that many of us take that may have mild side effects. However if you are not sure and would like to know more. It is important to talk to a registered health practitioner who can explain the process a bit better to you and hopefully put your mind at ease. 

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Getting up and working every day during a pandemic has brought up its own challenges. Whilst I have almost always worked from home, not being able to break from my daily routine by going to the shops or even meeting up with friends has made it almost impossible to self motivate. Especially when the line between home and work life are so blurred. Surprisingly though, my husband who has always worked in an office, has been one of my biggest inspirations on working from home. Not only because his style is completely different from mine. But also because he is good at being productive and self motivating 90% of the time. Here are some tips and tricks I have learnt from him, and figured out on my own.

1. Get up and get dressed every morning. Whilst i must admit that I’ve always been a get up and work in my pajamas all day kind of girl. Watching my husband get up every morning, taking a shower and getting dressed as if he is going to the office has been a big inspiration. Whilst you can still find me mostly in sweats or pajamas. When I need that extra push, I like to get dressed up. This not only boosts my self confidence but helps keep me motivated.
2. One of the big game changers for me in staying motivated has been working out. recently.I completed a 6 week program where I worked out about 5 days a week. The workouts varied from yoga to more high intensity workouts and pilates. This not only kept me mentally sane, but also gave me the boost of energy I needed. After almost two weeks off, I am about to start another program and commit to getting ly body moving again.
3. As we live in an apartment in France with no real home office. Both my husband and I often find ourselves working where ever there is room. This can be the dining room, lounge or even sometimes the bedroom. Which often means that meal times and work time often bleed into each other. To remedy this we have set out designated meal times where we remove all work related stuff from the dining table and switch our phones off. This allows for some much needed family time but also a good break from work. We also try to ensure that we finish work at a certain time so that we don’t end up working around the clock.
4. Whilst its great to have designated place to work. Changing up the scenery every once in a while is a must. Especially if you are in lock down and aren’t often going outside your home. Which is why we have a few work zones around the apartment.
5. One of the biggest motivates to work has been seeing my husband work. This unintentional buddy system is a great way to stay motivated. If you live alone, try facetime a friend and work together virtually. This ensures you feel accountable to someone else and that you don’t feel stuck. It’s also great to have someone to have chats with throughout the day to break up the time.

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As a South African living in Europe, I was pleased when I heard that the South African borders would be open in time for me to go home for the holidays. Not only because I, like many people, have not seen my family in over a year. Furthermore, as I gave birth at the beginning of the pandemic, many of my close friends are yet to meet my daughter. So whilst I had wanted to stay put for the holidays, it was important for my family to meet my daughter before she turned one. Especially as there is no clear end in sight. This however means that I will be taking some precautions to keep myself, my family and anyone else I come into contact with safe. Here are some tips I have read about and will be implementing before, during and after my travels.

• Stocking up on Vitamin C & Zinc: Whilst this combination does not in any way stop you from contracting COVID, the combination has been shown to help with common colds and keeping you healthy. Especially as I will be leaving from Europe where it is currently winter.
• Drinking golden latte: I first introduced to golden lattes from a website I followed and I was instantly intrigued. Not only is turmeric that is found in golden lattes known to be a natural anti inflammatory. But it is also a great way to give the immune system a boost.
• Wear a mask: When it comes to COVID this has been shown time and time again to help prevent the spread of COVID as well as protect you from getting it. This is why I will be carrying a ton of masks for myself both in my hand luggage and in my purse.
• Carry hand sanitizer: The CDC recommends using a hand sanitizer with at least 60% alcohol when traveling. Which is why I am stocking up and using it every hour or so whilst flying and traveling.
• Avoid touching my face: Whilst I have already been practicing this since the pandemic started. I will continue to keep my hands off my face as much as possible.
• Test before flying: This is a requirement before entering most countries and one that I am more than happy to follow.
• Self isolate when arriving at destination: Whilst I would love nothing more that to see my loved ones immediately after arriving. I plan instead to self isolate and then get tested again a few days after arriving to be on the safe side.

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