I probably often always say this, but a new month feels like an opportunity to hit the hard refresh button. In France, where I reside. Things are slowly starting to open up (hello summer outdoor dining), and I am scheduled for my first COVID vaccine shot in a few days. With all these new promises for better days I have been feeling a little unsettled yet excited. After all, what does life post COVID look like?

It’s a question I asked the ladies in our “In her own words” video last week (more on that soon). And one that has been at the back of my mind for some time. In part because when COVID started (literally the day of the first lockdown) I became a mother. And in many ways the lockdown has been a blessing. In part because of forced social distancing. But also because it ensured that I slowed down. And didn’t have to worry about getting back into old routines, or take friends invitations for late night drinks and parties. Now with the social crutch of COVID starting to fade. I am having to take a hard look at my life. What I have done the past year and adjust once again for what I want my life to look like post covid.

For me this means opening myself up to not always being there for my daughters nightly routine. Going out more. Or even the basics like getting dressed everyday (something I honestly have not done in such a long time). With a new post baby body to cater to, and the stark realities of motherhood; goodbye clothes that don’t allow for maximum movement and freedom to chase after a toddler. My closet choices and decisions are looking a lot different.

Which is why I have been slowly editing my closet and ensuring that I am ready to hit hard reset on all aspects of life. On the work front we have tons of new projects lined up that are both demanding and exciting and that I cannot wait to share with you ladies. From our “In her own words” series, to our e-commerce shop. Things on She Evolves are about to evolve in the best way possible. So as we step into a new reality, and the weather starts heating up, if you live in the Northern hemisphere. This Spring feels different and exciting. new but also scary.

So what ever plans you have. What ever dreams, project’s or goals you have in mind, I hope this post inspires you to pursue them as best you can. And remember that although the future may seem a little scary. We are all in this together.

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Dear….

I don’t know how to address you because I never got the chance to meet you. I don’t know your reasons nor do I understand why I wasn’t important enough for you to stick around or how you could abandon me without knowing me. However I don’t need your explanations or apology as too much time has passed and with them any explanation that would make sense to me. I see now that parenting was an option for you, but to my mother she made it her passion. I want you to know that the pain that I felt all these years in your absence in my life has made me a stronger woman. Not only have I learn’t to face challenges head on and conquer them, I have also learnt to value and appreciate the people in my life who have chosen to stick around and support me.

There is so much I would have loved to share with you but then again that will forever be a dream. Especially when all these years the word “father” has been my worst nightmare. A reminder of something I will never have or experience. But I also want you to know that I do not hate you. After all, how can you hate someone you do not know? Because I’ve never heard your voice, never seen your face and never felt your touch. To me you remain a stranger; an unknown.

I want you to know that your absence has made me not only much stronger and better than I’d ever imagined. But also wiser. So thank you, who ever and where ever you are.

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