As African women, we should share our stories because it gives us a voice in a society that doesn’t want to hear us. Sharing our stories will challenge stereotypes and misconceptions about African women and contribute towards the empowerment and representation of African women in various spheres of life. In addition, sharing our African stories builds connections and understanding of different cultures, backgrounds, and experiences, and we can learn from each other.

Evidently, there are several reasons why our voices are not heard. Many African women may not have equal access to education and resources as men, which can limit their ability to participate in social and political discourse. They may also face discrimination and marginalization based on their gender, race, and socio-economic status. Additionally, societal and cultural norms may discourage African women from speaking out and fully expressing themselves. Furthermore, media representations of African women are often stereotypical, which can perpetuate negative misconceptions that further silence their voices. Thus, everyone needs to be more intentional about addressing these issues. We must create a more inclusive and equitable environment for African women to share their stories and experiences. SheEvolves is a platform that intentionally addresses these issues.

There are several ways to ensure that the voices of African women are heard. Here are a few:

• Amplify their voices by sharing their stories and perspectives through various platforms, such as social media, podcasts, and blogs.
• Support their leadership by encouraging and supporting African women to take leadership roles in their communities and various fields.
• Increase access to education by ensuring that African women have access to education and resources that will enable them to participate in social and political discourse.
• Promote gender equality by working to address the systemic gender-based discrimination that African women face and promote gender equality.
• Increase representation by ensuring that African women are represented in all spheres of life, including politics, media, and business.
• Create safe spaces where African women can share their stories, experiences, and perspectives without fear of judgment or discrimination.
• Challenge stereotypes and misconceptions about African women and educate others about their lived experiences and contributions.
• Support organizations and initiatives that are working to empower and amplify the voices of African women.

2024 is here, and it brings with it new opportunities and challenges. So, as we welcome this new year, let’s consider the stories of African women. Let’s take into account her experiences, joys, cries, her intelligence and her courage!

Happy New Year from the She Evolves team!

The post This is why we share African Stories appeared first on Sheevolves.world.

It is pretty upsetting how many African women and girls are unaware of the fact that there are international and regional (continental laws) that promote and protect their most fundamental human rights. Apart from the fact that African governments have national laws and policies to fight against issues such as Gender Based Violence, governments also have international and regional obligations to promote and protect these fundamental human rights. This article will provide a brief overview of how the African Charter on Human and Peoples Rights protects and promotes the rights of all African Women and Girls.

Firstly, let us contextualize the problem. The most prevalent forms of Violence Against Women and Girls in Africa that have been reported include, among others, Intimate Partner Violence, which usually manifests in physical, sexual or psychological violence by an intimate partner; Female Genital Mutilation, which is a common cultural practice in some parts of Africa; Early Child and Forced Marriage where girls below 18 years are forced into marriage; as well as Sexual Violence in Conflict, which includes rape, sexual assault with violent physical assault, kidnapping, sexual slavery and forced prostitution in conflict situations.

The unceasing presence of Violence Against Women and Girls in Africa is mainly associated with gender power relations reflected and accepted through cultural and social norms. These norms are entrenched in patriarchal systems characterized by male dominance, unequal distribution of resources and power, and social institutions that sustain gender inequality. Additionally, poverty and the lack of income and assets add to women’s vulnerability to violence.

The African Union views Violence Against Women and Girls as one of the critical impediments to women’s realization of their fundamental rights, including the rights to life, human dignity, peace, justice, and socio-economic and political development. To address these challenges, The African Union finalized the adoption of the Protocol to the African Charter on Human and People’s Rights on the Rights of Women in Africa (the Maputo Protocol) in July 2003. Notably, the Maputo Protocol is a women’s rights Treaty adopted to complement the African Charter on Human and Peoples Rights. It is one of three treaties worldwide that focuses exclusively on women’s rights and directly addresses state responsibility to eliminate violence against women.

The Maputo Protocol covers a wide range of women’s rights related to the specific threats faced by African women and girls. These rights include violence in the family, at work, in their communities and during times of armed conflict. It calls for the elimination of all forms of gender-based violence within the rights to life, integrity and security of the person in Article 4, with other provisions reinforcing the obligations of African governments to end Gender-Based Violence and discrimination.

In addition, the Protocol contains progressive wording on sexual and reproductive rights in Article 14. The Protocol also covers the right to a positive cultural context in Article 17, the right to a healthy and sustainable environment in Article 18, and the right to protect the rules of international humanitarian law in armed conflict in Article 11. It is also the first women’s rights Treaty in the world to call for the elimination of female genital mutilation in Article 5 and to address the HIV/AIDS pandemic through women’s experiences in Article 14. Furthermore, the African Court on Human and Peoples’ Rights (based in Tanzania) is responsible for interpreting issues related to the application and implementation of the Maputo Protocol, and African countries are required to provide implementation reports to the African Commission on Human and Peoples’ Rights.

To date, 42 African countries out of 55 have ratified Maputo Protocol. However, regardless of the admirable ratification status of the Maputo Protocol, as well as the progressiveness of the Treaty, African Women and Girls still need to overcome severe human rights challenges.

Here are a few examples in this regard. These examples specifically relate to the events during the first few months of the COVID-19 Pandemic in early to mid-2020.

Official reports also showed that within the first week of the COVID-19 lockdown, South African Police Services received 2,320 gender-based violence complaints, a 37% increase from the weekly average of South African GBV cases reported for 2019.

Liberia recorded a 50% increase in gender-based violence in the first half of 2020. Between January and June, there were more than 600 reported rape cases.

In Algeria, femicide increased during the COVID-19 lockdown, with a murder occurring every three to four days.

In Tunisia, violence against women and girls had increased 9-fold during COVID-19. From March to June 2020, the helpline from the Ministry of Women’s Affairs received a number of 11,361 calls. 87% of them reported physical violence against women and girls.

The COVID-19 lockdown resulted in the closing of schools. This resulted in gender inequalities where the poorest girls faced a greater risk of early and forced marriage, sexual abuse and unintended pregnancy. In Kenya, for instance, data showed that in the far northern town of Lodwar, teenage pregnancies nearly tripled to 625 in June-August 2020, compared with 226 in the same period in 2019. In Malawi, it was reported that at least 5,000 cases of teenage pregnancies in the Phalombe district in the South of Malawi, and more than 500 girls had been married off following the Pandemic. In Uganda, at least 4,300 teenage pregnancies were registered in the first four months of the COVID-19 lockdown by the Ministry of Gender, Labour and Social Development.

These horrifying statistics show the deep-rooted structural inequities that feed and continue to provide a fertile ground for Violence against Women and Girls. It also implicates the ineffectiveness of the Maputo Protocol. Although the Maputo Protocol cannot solve all these issues all at once, it is still seen as an instrument of hope and inspiration for African women and a way governments can be held accountable. The Protocol is just the beginning. More can be done!

If you have a story to share regarding the policies and laws regulating Violence against Women and Girls in your country, please feel free to share that with us

Sources:

https://blogs.lse.ac.uk/vaw/maputo-protocol/

https://ishr.ch/latest-updates/achpr68-women-in-africa-must-be-protected-against-sexual-and-gender-based-violence/

https://au.int/en/articles/au-convention-legal-frameworks-aim-break-cycle-violence-against-women-and-girls

https://www.oecd.org/dac/gender-development/47566137.pdf

https://www.oecd.org/dac/gender-development/47566137.pdf

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Focusing on your own happiness means prioritizing your well-being and taking intentional actions that promote feelings of joy, contentment, and fulfillment. It involves acknowledging your needs, values, and desires, and making choices that align with them. Focusing on your own happiness also means taking responsibility for your own emotions and not relying on external factors or other people to make you happy. It means cultivating a positive mindset, practicing gratitude, and finding joy in everyday moments. However, it’s important to note that focusing on your own happiness does not mean being selfish or disregarding the needs of others. It means setting healthy boundaries, communicating effectively, and finding a balance between taking care of yourself and supporting others. Ultimately, focusing on your own happiness is a personal journey that requires self-awareness, self-care, and a willingness to prioritize your own well-being. It can lead to greater overall satisfaction in life, stronger relationships, and a more positive outlook on the world.

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There is so much more to age than just being a number.

I looked forward to turning twenty-one with all the hype and excitement it entails. The dream 21st year would bring forth graduation from college, the 21st Key official presentation, and … an engagement ring. The reality was that I graduated and received my golden key (bless my parents). There was no engagement ring or prospects of one. That chapter was closed.

Dreams have a habit of never-ending for young hopefuls. My next age target became twenty-five with all its promising silver-toned ideas. Undoubtedly, the ring would come at 25 or somewhere there. With the best laid-out plans for an Afternoon Tea Party and a mirage of ideas for official courtship, I fell headlong to twenty-five. The “dream” stated, “dream of me putting a ring on your finger”, and the butterflies had a merry-go-round dance in my tummy. Nevertheless, the “dream” was gone within a fortnight. No official courtship, no engagement. And I shut the door on twenty-five, but I resolutely refused to walk away from the number written on the door.

I have had to thoroughly examine why getting married was so important and why it became the ultimate big goal. It was not a forcefully ingrained idea. Neither do I recall it being mentioned in any conversation, which could have led me to think this was the epitome of achievement. However, I have always attached a touch of mystical magic to falling in love, the idea of a wedding day and a husband. Right in our home, I had a beautiful example of marriage modelled for me. I had the kind of parents that held hands, hugged, and not forgetting to mention the kiss on the lips when meeting or departing. A good example was set, and unconsciously, an idea was planted. When I grew up, I wanted to have someone with whom I could share the kind of love I had witnessed in our home. Honestly speaking, I probably thought marriage was easy and simple. Walt Disney also added to the magical enchantment by producing movies and books like Barbie and Swan Lake, Cinderella, and Snow White. I was on a quest to be found by a Handsome Prince and to live with him Happily- Ever- After. Then I went through high school and college, most likely carrying myself around like a maiden in debutante season, seeking the right Mr Darcy. My peers would somehow end up saying, “you’re the most likely one to get married before any of us”, and “any mother would want you for a daughter-in-law”. Fast forward a few years, a number of these peers have since married and settled down- and I’m enjoying my single independence. Considering all this, I realized that I fell in love with the idea of being in love and getting married, mainly due to the environment I grew up in.

So, I dreaded the very idea of celebrating my birthday after twenty-five. With each following year, I defiantly chose not to admit that I was a day past twenty-five. There were no sandcastles on the beach for the waves of age to sweep away. I was terrified to acknowledge the reality that to the society I live in, I was officially an OLD MAID, though unannounced.

And if you consult the Oxford Dictionary, this derogatory term is no less stinging as its pejorative alternative: SPINSTER. An old maid is a single woman regarded as too old for marriage.

Although not voiced out loud, the actions of loved ones and some consoling remarks along the way confirmed my thoughts on this idea of being an old maid. Every conversation about dating, relationships, courtships and weddings eventually ends with a pointed look in my direction. And sometimes a quick sigh, or a well-meant “it’ll be your season soon”. Even an unconscious connotation, “you’re single by choice”.

Then there are the brothers who think it is flattering to ask for your age and ask, “Where have you been?” the minute they hear you are over twenty-five. The question insinuates that there must be something wrong with me if I am still single at this age. Adding injury to insult, some go on to suggest that the reason why must be because I am one of “those sisters” that kick brothers to the curb. An attack on feminine personality if one is over 25 and unmarried. This led me to Sophia Benoit’s shared tweet on the word THORNBACK on Twitter. In her tweet, she wrote, “Omg, I just found out that spinster used to be reserved for women 23-26 and that after you turned 26 if you were unmarried, you became a… THORNBACK.” Despite this word being widely celebrated over the internet, I could not get past the reference to a ray, like a guitarfish with spines on the back and tail. Yet another disparaging term.

As 2020 unfolded, I decided to rise beyond the blow to my self-esteem and start facing reality. There was inspiration from motivational speakers and, ultimately, from the Bible itself. I was encouraged that Rebekah was about her business when Eliezer found her for Isaac (Genesis 24). So the pursuit of another black gown and cap was not a bad idea for me! I continued with Rachel, waiting for 14 years for love, and Ruth, who suffered through widowhood and immigration to a foreign land to meet love. The list is endless.

I forged on with determination towards celebrating twenty-eight without expecting much. The tears were overwhelming, and the photo shoot showed courage, facing my age in the face and pronouncing it to the world again. In Becoming, Michelle Obama said, “Do not bring people in your life who weigh you down. And trust your instincts. Good relationships feel good. They feel right. They don’t hurt. They’re not painful. That’s not just with somebody you want to marry, but it’s with the friends that you choose. It’s with the people you surround yourselves with.” It’s one of the things that keeps me waiting—just trusting my instincts. And finally, Heather Lindsey accurately said, “Never place (your)identity in temporary things”.

If anything, waiting beyond twenty-five has taught me the greatest lessons: patience to endure and faith to realize and appreciate the present moment. I have solemnly removed my rose-tinted glasses from my early years and learnt that marriage isn’t just the wedding day but the next sixty to eighty years of one’s life. There is no need to hurry that. While in the waiting season, I live a purpose-driven life, have nursed and healed a broken heart, and have also discovered the kind of me that I would like to live with for the rest of my life. And if one day, on some proverbial steed, you hear church bells chiming and see me in a white gown, the time will be right, and some dream will be fulfilled… Twenty-eight is just my temporary home.

By Sheriffa-rose Isa

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On October 28th, 2019, I got off from bed to prepare to go to the hospital for my recurring cancer, post-surgery results. It was around 3 am, I had not slept a wink, and it was precisely an hour fifteen minutes before the transport would show up outside my uni residence to pick me up. So I had to get ready despite having puffy eyes and a sleep-deprived body.

Throughout the trip to the hospital, everything went completely off-track. It was like I was moving in slow motion and watching my life pass me by—quite an uncomfortable feeling. Until 3 hours later, when I arrived at the hospital, the oncology department.

I had already convinced myself- what’s the point? Whether the results come back positive or negative, it will all come down to one thing. Hope. If the results came back positive for cancer, I would have to continue to hope that it’ll all go away one day. Or that at least I would live long enough to have a good-paying career and do great things for my mother. And if it came back negative, I would still hope that it doesn’t come back in a few months or years to come like it did the last two times.

The results came back NEGATIVE. Yay. Congratulations, you are finally in remission, my doctor enthusiastically told me. Should I cry? Jump? Celebrate? Ring a bell?… What now? I had so many questions, and confusion railed my mind like a busied peak-hour traffic.

In the end, I chose to do nothing. But to continue living my life as nothing had happened. I bottled it all up. I didn’t climb the mountain tops and shout with joy, “I beat cancer AGAIN.” I didn’t want to be the inspirational, brave and resilient young black woman I was a few years back. And I didn’t want to write another blog about how God saved me from the pits. Because what if it comes back AGAIN.

As I reflect on the past few years, I realise I have robbed myself of the vast and earnest beauty of the joy of the unknown. I have been focusing more on what if it comes back—and ignoring the possibility of what if it doesn’t. So as a gift for myself. Or rather let’s call it a new year’s resolution; I have decided to be a little bit easy on myself. To focus more on the positive and to give joy, happiness and the beauty that comes with uncertainty a room in my life. I have decided to accept change and allow myself to transition through every phase (good or bad) with grace. And finally, I have decided to carry hope around with me everywhere I go. Like a badge of honour willing me forward.

The post The importance of hope and why we should all have some this year appeared first on Sheevolves.world.

Growing up in an African household. I was taught how to behave in a manner that always saw partner, child, family and community obligation before self. It is no surprise then that when it came to working and raising a family of my own later on in life, I always put that first. I remember how much my mother did. Not only did she have a full-time job cleaning a house for a wealthy family, cooking and helping to take care of their children. But she also had my two sisters and me to take care of afterwards. Not to mention helping her own elderly mother and her brothers and sisters. I often thought this was the trade-off of being a single parent.

But once I spoke to my friends from two-parent households it seemed the lives and jobs of their mothers were not that different to mine. Somehow, women, irrespective of marital status were expected to do it all. Fast forward to today and after trying to reenact my “take care of everything yourself” attitude of my mother and the women of her generation. I found myself on a therapists couch crying as the therapist, after just five minutes, diagnosed me with chronic anxiety and burnout. 

Having moved continents, given birth during a global pandemic and pushed through working almost all 9 months of my pregnancy and then soon after giving birth, I was beyond exhausted. And in all honesty, I still am almost two years into my daughter’s life.

All because I was unaware, or at least didn’t want to be aware of what I was going through. I had put my mental and physical self through a lot and not taken time to recover. Because in many ways, cleaning a house, aiming to be a “good” mother and wife. All while working and trying to achieve my personal goals of happiness and mental fortitude. Is what I thought was expected of me. And something I should excel at, otherwise, I was failing. It also didn’t help that everywhere I looked ad’s, friends, family and the like saw nothing in my struggle. Because whilst being tired with a baby and toddler is somewhat “normal”. The rest isn’t. At least it shouldn’t be.

Looking back, I realize now how naive and destructive I was to think I SHOULD do it all. This is why whilst at She Evolves we had taken on Bossing Up in November last year. I silently had to tap out and boss up a completely different way. From sleeping more than usual to letting the dishes, house and indeed laundry pile up. I even had to forgo the workout subscription I had just signed up for just days before to take care of myself.

Which should also be seen as a way of bossing up. Because what bigger boss move is there than to choose yourself? To say no. To stop and slow down when everyone and everything is telling you to speed up?

I have a lot to learn and even unlearn as I continue on this journey of motherhood and other-hoods that exist. But if there is one thing that is sure, and that my therapist and countless others have said before. True balance is sometimes letting go. Of focusing on the family one week over friends. Or choosing sleep instead of working another and figuring out and shuffling around as you need. Because if looking back at my mother’s life has taught me anything. It is that doing it all can be taxing.

And that if you sit and ask them. Most women wish they did less and not more. Less worrying about laundry and more focusing on what makes them happy. Less concern over being a perfect mother and more on being a present and loving mom. And of course just more time for themselves. Something we all need and could use more of. So this year ladies as we tick off our to-do lists. And venture into the new year, let’s remember that we matter too. That our own mental health translates into the health of our families. That saying no is ok. And that we do not need to do it all. So this year my wish for you is to ask for more of what you need. Sleeping in more. And taking the time you need to be fully present in your own life. 

The post Why letting go of the lessons I was taught as a young women has freed me to be more myself appeared first on Sheevolves.world.

As someone who has always been rather terrible at making and keeping new years resolutions. For the past two years, I decided to not make any new years resolutions. In part because I found it stressful. But also because when it came to the end of the year, I found myself stressing about all the things I didn’t do instead of all that I had accomplished. Add to the fact that we have been in a global pandemic for almost two years now. And I am a working mom. Having a list of goals was just not something I was willing and able to do. But I know many people who have and still do set new years resolutions.

Resolutions help guide them and give them direction for the year. But what happens when all the goals and resolutions are not met? What I have found useful over the years when I did set resolutions and I was unable to meet them was to take a step back and write down what I did accomplish. This helps put things into perspective. And reminds me that whilst I may not have followed my list, life had other plans and I had to adapt.

As much as we would all like to accomplish everything on our new year’s resolutions list. It’s equally important to realize that life is not a checklist. And part of the human experience is dealing with unexpected twists and turns. From falling pregnant to losing your job or even a loved one. There are a million things that can go wrong in a year that can throw you off. This is why if you find yourself feeling bad about not doing or achieving all the things you wanted to this year. You need to remember that you are human. And as long as you are breathing you can still take steps to achieve all that you want. So be kind to yourself. You have time.

Dust yourself off. Write a new list if you are so inclined. And promise yourself to take a step each day, week or month towards achieving your goals.

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Whilst the dreaded 2020 may be over. We cannot know for sure what the new year has in store for us. Which is why finding a wellness routine and ways to take care of yourself is so important. Not only for your mental healthy but also for your overall well being. Whilst the idea of a wellness routine may seem abstract. All it really means is finding something (or a few things) to do that can help you deal with life’s daily stresses in a way that is productive and not harmful to your health. Here are some wellness routines we swear by for our emotional, physical and psychological well being.

• Meditating
• Working out
• Finding time alone
• Reading
• Walking
• Taking a bath
• At home face mask
• Talking to loved ones
• Cooking
• Listening to music
• Journaling
• Taking a break from social media and your phone

What are some ways you create space for your self in your daily life?

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The first Monday of 2021 presents many opportunities for new beginnings, For many of us, the idea of going back to an office or “normal” work environment is still far off. But this doesn’t mean looking and feeling good should be. As someone who has never really worked in a traditional office setting, I can tell you now that having somewhere to go is not the only motivation for looking good. Even though it may seem like it. Staying in or simply being is always a good reason to look and feel your best. Especially if you hope to be more productive and or feel like you need a little confidence boost.

And like I said before, as I’ve never really worked in a formal office setting, I still find ways to make myself look and feel strong and productive. But What I have found to be true over the years is that in order to feel this way I don’t need much in my closet<. Whilst the idea of a Kardashian-style closet may feel like the way to go with endless designer options. Having a few key pieces that work for my body type has always been the way to go for me. Not only in helping me stick to a budget. But also in helping me get dressed faster in the mornings. Here are some ways you can make your closet work for you:

• Develop a uniform: Having a uniform is one sure way to make sure you don’t have a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear. Your uniform should make you feel strong, beautiful and fit into your lifestyle. Before having a baby and living in South Africa my uniform was full of pencil skirts and high heels. Mainly because I liked the way they made me look and feel. But since moving to France and having a baby, my style has changed a lot. In part because the French dress differently but also because I now walk everywhere. Nowadays my uniform is filled with comfortable pretty flat shoes, a good selection of denim and tops along with easy to wear dresses. This ensures I can get dressed in a hurry without having to think too much about it.
• Invest in key pieces: The saying “less is more” has never been more true at this day and age. Especially as we look to being more conscious in what we buy. Which is why investing in a few pieces instead of filling your closet with fast fashion pieces is a must. This will help make your closet look more edited. But also ensure that you are not buying into trends.
• Buy for your body type: This one seems obvious but buying clothes for your body type is an important step in keeping your closet small. Not only that but ensuring you buy what looks good on you takes the guess work out of getting dressed. Another important element to this is ensuring to tailor pieces to your body. Spending that little extra will help make your closet uniquely yours. As a short person this for me often means getting things shortened.

The post 3 ways to make your closet work for you all year round appeared first on Sheevolves.world.

As I write this my daughter is asleep in my arms, my husband is having a nap and I’m contemplating one myself after our New Years lunch turned party and therapy session (thanks tequila and 2020). Our little celebration captured what we have known all along. 2020 was a tough year and NOT for the faint hearted. I won’t go into the nitty gritty of the year but I will say it was a tough one.

Now at the beginning of the new year I am cautiously optimistic about what lies ahead. On the one hand I feel like things can’t get any worse. Whilst on the other, I know that what lies ahead is not just dependent on what’s happening in the world, but also how I react to it. How I fortify my mental, spiritual, physical and emotional health. Because if 2020 taught me anything it’s that you can’t outrun a bad situation. And that how you treat a situation is as important as the situation itself.

Personally I’ve chosen to forgo new years resolutions and the like and instead go the course. This means focusing my time and energy on that which feeds me mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. What that is however often changes and I’m not ready to put on paper just one idea of what my will nourish me and give me what I need.

What I do know is that like water, I am keeping an open mind and going with the flow. Taking life where ever it leads and trying to savour the moment as much as possible. On that note I have decided to actually start capturing the moments that fill my heart as much as possible. Partly because over the past few months I’ve found myself looking at old photos of different places in life and reliving those moments. Blissfully unaware of how cherished and restorative they would become. Whilst things may not get back to “normal” anytime soon. There is joy to be found in our current normal. And that too requires celebration and a picture or two. 

So I guess at the end of the a day that is a resolution onto itself. To be more present. To move through the days weeks and months ahead with intention with my eyes (and my camera eye lens) wide open. So here’s to 2021. May it fill your camera roll with pictures of things that make you happy and remind you how far you’ve come. Cheers to the new year and cheers to us all. May we remain kind to ourselves and those around us. And remember that we are all in this together.

Love, light and happiness

Phindile Le Bris Sithole-Spong

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