I woke up in the morning like, ‘Hey, What’s wrong?’ It was not normal. My face was itchy, and my skin was with irritations. It developed into acne. So I went to the doctor, who gave me medication to treat it. It was a lot of pills, and I had to take them over three months. I took them for one week, then stopped because I would wake up every morning and see that my skin was getting worse. I went to see another doctor who was also a pharmacist, and she said I should continue with the medication. She put me on a skin routine. I had to do it morning and evening. I was like, ‘Oh my God, what’s this?’ I had no idea about skin. I would just wake up and apply my oil. But I wanted my skin to clear. She gave me a product to apply once a week, but I had no patience and applied it daily. My skin just got worse and worse. I didn’t want to look in the mirror or take pictures of myself and was like; this is not my skin. Everybody at college was like, ‘Oh Julieth, what happened to your face?’ Everyone was questioning me, and it hurt me a lot. Girls would pass me by, and I would feel inferior. I felt so bad, and I didn’t know what to do. I stopped going out as I didn’t want to bump into people. I couldn’t accept myself, which was not helpful. I thought I couldn’t see people with how I looked. When I was with people, I wondered if they would silently question my face even without asking.

Finally, I realized that if I am confident and let people ask me the questions, they will see that there is more to me than my skin problems, and it will no longer hurt me. It took a long time to accept my situation. I realized when you accept yourself; you can overcome anything. I couldn’t sleep without worrying, and I always touched my face. It took almost two years to find the answer. When I went back to the doctor, she said I was overusing the product, which is why my skin was reacting so badly. Then, at the skin clinic, they discovered my problems were caused by too much Sulphur in my system. This was from the medication I had taken previously for malaria. By this time, I had started researching what was going on with my skin. Finally, I found a product with many positive reviews, and after three months of trying it, my skin was back to normal.

Skin needs patience. It’s not something you put on a product now and tomorrow; it will be clear. I learnt the hard way, but I always tell people if the doctor recommends you a product, use it appropriately. Diet is also essential and has a big impact on our skin. I have a lot of followers because of how my skin got better. I tell them to be patient, that everyone’s skin is different, and what helped me may not be the answer for them. I advise them to research the products they use to check the ingredients and their effect on the skin. To look at their diet and, most of all, not let their confidence slip because, with time, it will heal.

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For most young black girls living in remote rural and underdeveloped villages, dreams and goals seem arid and/or impossible to reach. I know that because I was once that young black girl whose dreams were clouded by the societal misconceptions of what a woman can and should be. Having a conversation with Noxolo felt like revisiting the long-buried memories of my childhood. A time when I had an irresistible burning desire to be heard, seen, and recognized for what I could offer the world. And for a moment, I wished someone had told me that I wasn’t crazy for wanting to be more than what society had dictated for my life. Which is why sharing Noxolo’s passion for art, an area predominantly known to be a “white man’s field”, was an honour. This is how our conversation went:

MK: Briefly tell me about your upbringing, qualifications, aspirations and hobbies.

Noxolo: I am 22 years old. My grandmother raised me in Ntinini village, in KwaZulu-Natal. Later in 2016, I moved to Gauteng to complete grade 11 and 12 at Boitumelong Secondary School, located in Tembisa township (Sedibeng section). In 2018, I started my National Diploma in Food Technology at Tshwane University of Technology (TUT). Now, I am a quality intern at Kellogg’s Springs Plant.

I do a lot of writing. I write short stories, poems and some of the poems have been published by Avbob poetry. I was also shortlisted in writing a children’s anthology by Kwasukasukela books. And last year, I fell in love with painting and drawing.

My hobbies include acting, monologues, writing, painting, watching animation and comedy movies. My greatest aspiration is to bring change to the world through art.

MK: At what age did the desire to create art through writing, painting, and drawing arise?

Noxolo: When I was nine years old, my mother passed away. Life became so hard because I started a new life with my grandma’s family- my mom’s aunt. I found it so hard to adapt and fit in at my grandma’s place from the very start. One of the reasons that made it challenging to adapt was that no one really understood me because I was slightly introverted. My heart was constantly aching and bleeding because the scene of my mother’s last days was stuck in my mind, and I had no courage to talk about it. So during those difficult times, pen and paper became my friends. At first, I used to write letters for my late mother. That is when I realized that writing was my healing process, making me feel happy.

I fell in love with poetry after reading the poetry anthology titled “Izinkwazi Zothukela” by M. Makhanya. I was intrigued by the nature of poems, and I got a lot of inspiration from that book. So, in 2017, I started to write poems. Over the years, I have been writing about hope and love. Fortunately, some of those poems have been published. I love poetry because it allows me to touch souls and hold the hands of the hopeless.

The idea of a painting came when I was building characters for my short story. In brief, the story narrates as follows: “There was this young widow named Grace. After her husband and her only child lost their lives in a horrific car accident, Grace was left swimming in the pool of tears, breathing pain, and there were absolutely no words that could make her feel better.” So from that, I asked myself, “what is it that can possibly make my protagonist “Grace” feel better?” And the answer that came to my mind was “paintings”. And instantly, I knew I had to try to execute this idea.

I chose painting because sometimes words aren’t enough, but what we see is all that matters, and we can analyze or narrate our stories from what we see. So, when Grace glanced at the wall, she saw this painting that whispered in her ears. And suddenly, a smile appeared on her face. Well, that’s how I started painting. Some of the paintings I’ve done taught me that painting is not about perfection but the emotions it evokes when looking at it.

MK: Ever since you started writing, did you have any challenges that made you want to quit? Challenges such as; prolonged writer’s block or inevitable personal challenges that made writing seem pointless.

What did you do to overcome those challenges?

Noxolo: I have never been in a position where I felt like quitting because every single day, it’s like a new fabric that I use to create stories. However, like anyone else, I have had challenges here and there. The major challenge is that I tend to jump from one story to another before finishing the previous one from a writer’s perspective. Ironically, I know how to fix this problem, but I still repeatedly find myself hurdling the same situation.

At some point, I realized that my dream of having a successful novel on the market was probably a vague idea. So last year (2020), I decided to focus only on poetry and do the collection titled “The rainbow of feelings”. In the turn of events, I even transformed some of the pieces I never finished into free verse poems. And by God’s Grace, I believe that I will finish it.

MK: Most often, it’s either you draw and paint, or you write. It’s rarely both. You are amongst the few artists who them simultaneously, and on the other hand, you still managed to pursue a career in food sciences. What’s the trick?

Noxolo: That’s a good question because food science is a busy industry, primarily where I work. However, if whatever you have on your plate makes you happy, it doesn’t affect the scale. Art is my therapy and forever joy. Sometimes I thank God for it because it helps me ease the stress of work.

MK: Would you, at some point, consider creating art (through creative writing, painting and drawing) as a full-time career? Or is it something you want to keep as a side hobby/side-hustle?

Noxolo: No. I don’t think I would be financially stable if I could consider art as a full-time career. It’s better as a hobby/side-hustle.

MK: Most people see art as a risky and unstable career. What was the primary inspiration behind your vision to “create” from such a young age? But I guess you have answered it, or is there something you would want to add to that?

Noxolo: I totally agree. Art is a risky career. However, if you try to blend it with other things, the statement changes. That’s what I want to do. At some point, I want to integrate art with food science. Part of my vision board includes a dream to start a coffee shop business with a unique touch of art in it. Depending on my customer’s preferences, it won’t be just a cup of coffee, but a cup of coffee topped with an original quote or an illustration.

MK: You have a creative mindset. Open-minded and goal-driven young individual. I love that about you. What message(s) would you say you are trying to translate through your art?

Noxolo: *All shall be well*.

It might not be today, but eventually, everything will fall into place. I want people to know that some things are beyond our control. Like when God has decided to agree with life’s enemy, life has no choice but to come to an end. So, what can we say without saying goodbye?

Mostly, I want people to see a glimpse of hope through my work.

MK: When you hear the phrase “Start Now”, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?

Noxolo: There’s no better time than now, and you’ll never know your capabilities until you try. I know this because I wouldn’t have ever known that I could paint if I didn’t try.

MK: Last but not least, what does self-evolution mean to you?

Noxolo: To me, self-evolution is about being aware of your strengths and weaknesses. The corrective actions you take to improve yourself and to know what keeps you going.

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Traumatic stress reveals itself in different ways. You do not have to experience a traumatic event first hand to suffer from it. A traumatic experience can take us on a roller coaster ride of emotions. It can be enough to witness a traumatic event such as a violent crime, a natural disaster or a horrible accident. Repeated exposure to traumatic events reported on television and on social media such as terrorist attacks, famines, wars, tragedies that happen to innocent people can also trigger traumatic stress. It can leave us feeling anxious, fearful, helpless and with little hope for the future.

With time the intensity of such feelings can settle and one is able to regain a sense of inner calm and strength. There are ways we can help ourselves with this process. There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to deal with trauma. Finding someone to talk to who you can trust to discuss your feelings can help you to slowly let go. It is a process and will most likely not go away over-night. In the beginning, it may feel too difficult because the feelings of intense pain and hurt and confusion make it hard to put one’s feelings into words. However, allowing your self to feel and not ignore the emotions that come up actually helps to reduce the intensity of a traumatic experience and allows the process of healing to take place.

Signs and symptoms of traumatic stress are very normal and may vary. These can occur after experiencing a traumatic event, or having witnessed one . These can include feeling scared, anxious, sad and fearful of what the future holds or even disconnected from the world around you and numb. Helpguide.org gives a list of possible reactions after a traumatic event.

Shock: one is unable to emotionally digest what has actually occurred. A sense of utter disbelief

Fear: of one’s safety, of the future, the uncertainty of life and that it may happen again

Sadness: For what you feel you have lost and also that life will never be the same.

Helpless: Feeling you are unable to change the situation; that it is stronger and more powerful than you.

Guilt: that had you reacted differently the event may not have occurred or that you may have survived a tragedy and others didn’t.

Anger: towards those who you feel are responsible. It may be towards God who you feel has caused such suffering.

Shame: that what happened to you is culturally or socially shameful. You may feel that had you behaved differently it would not have happened.

Relief: feeling that you have experienced the worst and there is a future ahead.

These emotional reactions to trauma mostly come hand in hand with physical reactions which can make the situation feel even more alarming. Knowing what is normal to experience can take away some of the fear of what one is going through;

Trembling and shaking

Heart beating very fast

Difficulty catching one’s breath

Lump in the throat as if one is choked up

Feeling Sweaty or chills – can be both

Needing to fidget continuously and distract one self physically

Stomach tightening or churning.

Dizziness and feeling faint and drained of all energy

Feelings of being physically numb

Racing thoughts – unable to fix on one thought

Needing to hold one self.

Whilst these symptoms are normal directly after experiencing a traumatic event they normally subside over days or possibly weeks. However, if the nervous system is overwhelmed by a traumatic event and unable to process the emotions it can get ’stuck’ and this can lead to post traumatic stress syndrome, which is when seeking professional help is in order. Even if you are not sure you are traumatized having a support system of some sort can be beneficial for future traumas and dealing with deeply embedded trauma.

The post What is traumatic stress & are there ways to overcome it? appeared first on Sheevolves.world.