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Do you remember that happy lady who took her own life? You can’t get yourself to understand how, right? Well, turns out she wasn’t as happy as you thought. She had just mastered how to get everyone fooled. Truth is, she was really fighting to stay alive. Surges of sadness would overwhelm her, so she had to force herself to remember how to breathe, sometimes, it worked, but sometimes it overwhelmed her, and that’s when everything in her told her that it was better off if she wasn’t here at all. Why did she not just talk to someone? Didn’t she think about her two children? And the husband who loved her so much? Trust me, they are why she held on for as long as she did. But as she felt like what she was battling in her head was too much to handle, but at the same time, she knew of people who had ‘bigger issues’, and they were dealing just fine… it made her feel weak. And constantly talking about how she was not okay when everything in her life was going ‘fine’ seemed dramatic. She would rather people don’t have to worry about her ‘drama’ when there is so much to worry about. Also, even if she began to explain why sometimes she was struggling to just breathe, she wouldn’t have a serious enough reason, or people wouldn’t understand (the battle was in her head, remember).

Sometimes, she managed to come out during those surges of sadness. When she did, even she was certain that she was completely okay, and at that time, she would give all the positive energy she could garner. But the episodes kept coming back; unfortunately, the feeling overwhelmed her on that tragic morning. Before she could come out of it, she convinced herself that the world and everybody around her was better off without her. At that moment, she successfully took her own life. So yeah, you may have noticed that the ‘happy souls ‘ are often the ones who take their lives, and we do not understand why when they seem so happy. Depressed people won’t always lock themselves up and refuse to speak or eat, sometimes they’ll call to check on everybody else, they’ll show the most love, playing with their children and being there for their partners, then making sure to hide when they’re feeling their worst. Let me say that it really hurts seeing depression win. So when they get the courage to let you in on their mind battles, listen to them, even if you don’t understand.

Taking ones life is a serious and complex issue affecting many people worldwide. However, it’s important to understand that suicidal thoughts or feelings can be a symptom of an underlying mental health condition and that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you or someone you know struggles with suicidal thoughts or feelings, please seek help. You can contact a crisis helpline or speak with a mental health professional. There is no shame in seeking help and there are resources are available to support you.

It’s also important to remember that suicide is preventable and that recovery is possible with the right support and treatment. If you’re concerned about someone who may be at risk for suicide, don’t be afraid to reach out and offer support. Even a small act of kindness can make a big difference.

Written by Mercy Wanja

Facebook: WanjWanja Mercy

Instagram: wanjamercy_ke 

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When people died, I used to think it was not that serious. I don’t know why… maybe it was because they were not close to me. Then my brother died, and that’s when it hit me – how precious life is. The thought of never seeing him again and of him never coming back to life… How I was never going to talk to him again was what brought me greater pain. It took time for it to sink in,  and even when I finally accepted it, I couldn’t believe that someone who held the most important place in my heart was gone and I would never see him again. It hurt so much because when he died, I was just a little girl, so every day, I would look at his pictures and say, “bro it’s been long since you left. When are you coming back? I miss you.” The fact that we shared the same birthday hurts me even more. I would say, “until you come back, I will not celebrate my birthday.” The feeling is unbearable, and it has made me realise that as a person, you don’t always decide where life takes you; therefore, you must embrace it with every chance you get.

Written by Patience Phiri

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Over the past years, mental health has been on everyone’s agenda. But what is mental health and why did it take a global pandemic to wake people up to its importance? The world health organization defines mental health as “a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community”. Which is why when COVID hit, so many of us needed to focus more on mental health due to the anxiety of our new reality.

But also because we were stuck and for many months had not developed proper outlets for dealing with the stress of a global pandemic, not seeing loved ones but having to still operate and work every day of the week. For me mental health has always been at the forefront of everything that I do. As someone with a history of depression, and anxiety. I am well aware of the debilitating effects bad mental health can have on me. Which is why even though the pandemic started just after I had a baby. One thing I knew for sure was that i would have to be vigilant about my mental health. For me this meant going for walks when it was allowed with a mask every single day. Working out even for 15 minutes. And doing things that I love like cooking and watching my favorite TV shows and movies.

This was all good and well until I was hit with a wave of postpartum depression. something I had not prepared for and was not ready for. And despite my knowledge of depression, it still took me weeks and months to admit that I was actually depressed. I knew I had hit rock bottom, when even seeing my daughters gummy smile made me want to cry (and not happy tears). This was when i realized that I needed help and fast. As soon as I spoke to my husband and close friends about it, I was amazed at how supportive and understanding they were. Not only were they willing to step in when I simply couldn’t. But they didn’t judge me or make me feel like a bad person or worse, a bad mother.

Instead I felt supported, heard and understood which allowed the healing process to go by much quicker. And whilst I am still working on my mental health. One thing I know for sure is that in order to get help, one has to ask for it. And our communities, whether it be our partners, friends, family member’s or parents, need to be informed and equipped to help us. the same goes for us too. We too should educate ourselves so that if someone we love is depressed or has any mental health concerns we are able to act accordingly.

And whilst I know from experience that mental health is still a taboo subject in many homes and communities. I also can testify to the positive impact of being informed. And having those around you informed as well. One thing is for sure however and that is that mental health will always be an issue. In the age of social media, cultural and social expectations, and even television. We will always need to talk about it and stay informed. After all, it could be the difference between saving a life, or someone losing theirs.

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