I feel like society has failed to romanticize and celebrate black love. I think, as black people, we need to free ourselves from the shackles of viewing romantic love as it has been portrayed by media and society. Of course, there is no standard for how people should view love. However, the media has lowkey, or even high-key set a standard that many of us follow. Unfortunately, this standard does not necessarily promote diversity and representation (these are just my views and opinions).

I think black love is underrepresented in many ways and is often portrayed in a negative or stereotypical light. Celebrating black love promotes positive images of black people, especially on Valentines day. This day is meant to be inclusive, but I don’t think it is. Baby cupid doesn’t look like me, romcoms don’t always have people that look like me, sexy valentines day lingerie models also don’t look like me.

So I think that on this day, we need to highlight the stories of black couples by giving them a voice and a space to express their love. In addition, black relationships have often been subjected to harmful stereotypes, such as dysfunctional or relationships that are prone to conflict. Celebrating black love can challenge these stereotypes by showcasing positive examples of black love and relationships. For example, highlighting the strong and loving relationships between black celebrities, such as Jay-Z and Beyonce, Michelle and Barak Obama, can counteract harmful stereotypes and promote a positive representation of black love.

Showcasing positive examples of black love can empower the black community by promoting pride and self-esteem. It can also inspire black people to strive for healthy and loving relationships, fostering a sense of community and support. When the media highlights successful black relationships, others can be encouraged to strive for similar love. For example, black couples who openly share their love stories and experiences have inspired me to prioritize love and relationships. It is easier to relate to people who look like me.

Celebrating black love should become normalized and accepted as a valid and valuable form of love. This will create a more inclusive and diverse society where passion is recognized and valued, regardless of race.

So on this valentines day, I will celebrate, romanticize and embrace black love!

Do you have a love story you want to share?

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Everywhere we look, it seems everyone (including us), is telling you to practice self love.

But is self love actually possible? Especially in an age where we are told by our phones, social media, TV and adverts that we are not enough?

After a chat as a team, we started to think about what self love could actually look like. And honestly the answer is, we don’t know. The idea of self love itself is somewhat flawed in todays context. But that doesn’t mean we shouln’t try our best to practice some sort of love for ourselves, to ourselves. Even if that love is scattered, inconsistent or even if it happens once in a blue moon. Part of self love, or rather true self love, is also forgiving yourself. Saying, “its ok”; or “not today” or  even “not this way”.

And I for one am all for this type of self love. So today and everyday after, I hope you are a little more gentle with yourself when you are bombarded with posts pushing you to practice self love. After all, when we really break the word down “SELF” and “LOVE” they come to mean something entirely. The self is defined as “a person’s essential being that distinguishes them from others, especially considered as the object of introspection or reflexive action.”. And Love is defined as “an intense feeling of deep affection.”.

When you put those two together what you get is a call to honor yourself, to stand tall and proud against the grain. To be reflective in a deep meaningful and loving way towards yourself. And to do what is best for you, when it is best for you.

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Whilst I’ve never really prescribed to the idea that love should only be expressed on one day like Valentines day. The past year and all it had in store for us all has made me rethink my position. In part because I feel like now more than ever we need a reason to celebrate, and dress up. And whilst these tips are for Valentine’s day or date night dressing. They can also be used to change up your look any other day. The idea is to get out of what ever style rut you may find yourself in, and look good for yourself and your partner. Or just for yourself, because you deserve to look and feel powerful, sexy and beautiful.

Personally I will be away from my husband this Valentine’s day due to work commitments, however I am planning a little virtual valentines day celebration of sorts. And may actually end up making a tasty meal for my sister and I who I am currently staying with.

• Go all the way out: If there is one thing I have not done is dress up lately. After living in my tracksuit pants for what feels like years now, I am ready to seriously change things up. Which is why I am grabbing one of my most striking pieces from my closet this valentines day. Have a sequin dress you only wear for special occasions? Wear it. Or that beautiful masterpiece that you have not yet worn as you await the perfect moment? Wear it. What ever it is. If could have feathers, frills and everything in between. Now is as good a time as any to put it on.
• Show off your body: I love my legs and thighs lately. Thanks to some intense working out on my end. I feel like my body and especially my legs are looking better than ever. Which is why I plan to show them off. One way to do this is by wearing a short dress or skirt. Or opt for curve and leg showing pants or jeans.
• Let your personality come through: If you were to guess my personality on my recent style choices, you might think I am a bit of a tom boy. But that could not be more further from the truth. Not only am I girly girl. But I am also a huge fan of frilly dresses, tulle, sparkle, pink and all those other somewhat cliche “girly” things. I also am a huge fan of drama. Which usually means unexpected touches, a bold lip and a sky scraping heel.
• Try some lipstick: One thing I have missed since COVID started is wearing a bold bright red lip. I realized pretty quickly that whilst I could technically still wear it under my mask. I did find it annoying when it would be smudged all over the inside of my mask. Which is why, one of my main style updates for Valentine’s day and beyond is wearing a red lip as often as possible. If you are not a fan of lipstick. Try a cute lipgloss or nude lipstick to make your lips pop.

The post How to dress for valentines day at home appeared first on Sheevolves.world.

It’s hard to believe January is over and we are already rolling head first into February. This year, though it’s only been a month long, has already proved to be a difficult one. With friends losing friends and family members to COVID19 and heart attacks, it seems that the respite we were all seeking has swiftly been blown away. And whilst I am not one of those people who thought that life would magically change with the change of the year. I had been hoping for a little bit of peace. Not just for myself but for my loved ones and the world in general. Coronavirus still dominates many of our lives. And try as we may, it feels harder and harder to see a better future. To hope for more and better.

With that said I still count myself lucky. In part because despite the global crisis, my husband daughter and I decided to switch locations and come to South Africa so we could be closer to my family and our friends whom we had left when we moved a year and a half ago. This change has afforded me and my family some much needed light during these dark times. And whilst my husband had to rush back to France for work (we hope he gets to join us back here soon). I am fully aware of how much harder it is for most of the world. But instead of just focusing on the bad, I think, like I suggested in my January letter, there is reason to keep a positive mind. Even during these uncertain times. 

For me that means cooking more, blasting the sound system a little louder and enjoying sundowners with loved ones as often as possible. Even taking walks with my daughter and sister every day or getting to move my bodies. These are the little mercies I look forward to and cherish. In part because they remind me that I am alive. But also because they remind me that I am loved.

Speaking of love. February is the month of love and I am hoping we can bring you all some loved up content. From self love stories to dining in tips and tricks. After all, I think we can all agree that we could all use some love these days. This month we also hope to kick things up another gear as we settle into the new year and bring you more interviews with women we love and admire. As well as get back to sharing recipes and videos with you guys on our social media. So what ever the month has in store for us all. Heres hoping we can brighten up your days in which ever way we can. 

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