As a heterosexual black woman of colour, I, like millions of others who share my skin tone and or gender, I have moved through the world in a way that often feels oppressive and difficult to get through.  However if you are lesbian, gay, bisexual, intersexual, a-sexual, queer, transgender or even on the spectrum, things may look a lot harder. From being called names, to being teased. Or even being correctively raped, as so many queer, lesbian and bisexual women are. And whilst I cannot even begin to fathom the pain and hurt one goes through as a member of the LGBTQIA community. I do know the feeling of rejection, ridicule, and torment as much as the next person. Which is why when I hear people talk about how being lesbian or gay or even transgender is against the law or their beliefs. I am both startled and outraged.

In part because not too long ago black people in South Africa were not seen as equal to other races. And if everyone kept to the idea and mentality that the government, religion or anyone else says it’s not ok. Then my marriage to my white husband. And our mixed raced daughter would be a crime some 20 years ago still. And the multi cultural family I have would be nothing but an idea.

I know it is easy to sit back and wait for others to fix the discriminatory issues un our society. But again I say, if no one does anything, then a lot of us would not have the privileges that we have today. Which is why despite what others may say. We need only look at our own experiences, past and present pain to see that things need to change. That no person should be treated with anything but love and respect. Which simply means we need to do better. By reading, asking questions and even questioning the statues quo. Because the sale way I know I am tired of explaining my blackness to others. I know so many members of the LGBTQIA community feel the same. Especially when information is often readily available.

So the next time you think of judging someone because of their sexual identity of preference. Think about the ways you have been hurt and discriminated on and then do better. Because if we don’t change things, who will?

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