Female genital mutilation (FGM) is a practice that involves the partial or complete removal of the female genitalia for non-medical reasons. It is also referred to as female genital cutting or female circumcision. FGM is typically carried out on girls between infancy and the age of 15, although it can also be performed on adult women. FGM is practiced in many parts of the world, including Africa, Asia, and the Middle East. It is often associated with cultural or religious traditions, but there is no religious justification for the practice.

There are also no medical benefits to FGM and it can cause severe physical harm, including bleeding, infections, chronic pain, and difficulties with urination and childbirth. It can also lead to significant psychological harm, such as anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). FGM can negatively impact a person’s sexual health and pleasure, leading to pain and discomfort during sex and complications during childbirth.

The practice is a violation of human rights and often performed on children who are not old enough to give informed consent. For these reasons, FGM is widely recognized as a harmful cultural practice that should be eliminated. As mentioned before, FGM is recognized as a violation of human rights and is illegal in many countries. However, the practice continues in many communities, and efforts to end it must be culturally sensitive and involve education and awareness-raising about the harmful effects of FGM. It is crucial to involve local communities, religious leaders, and healthcare providers in efforts to end the practice. These efforts must be culturally sensitive and involve education and awareness-raising about the harmful effects of FGM.

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“Precious” is based on the Novel Push by Sapphire” is a powerful and moving film that tells the story of a young girl named Precious who is struggling to overcome a lifetime of abuse and neglect. Directed by Lee Daniels and released in 2009, the movie stars Gabourey Sidibe in the titular role and features a standout performance from Mo’Nique as her abusive mother.

The film is set in Harlem in the late 1980s and centres around the life of Claireece “Precious” Jones, a 16-year-old African-American girl who lives with her mother Mary (Mo’Nique), who physically, sexually, and emotionally abuses her. Precious is also pregnant with her second child by her own father, who also abused her, and is illiterate. Precious is enrolled in an alternative school for students who are struggling academically, and it is there that she meets her teacher, Ms. Rain (Paula Patton), who helps her to learn how to read and write and encourages her to pursue her dreams of becoming a writer.

The film is raw and unflinching in its depiction of the abuse that Precious endures, and it doesn’t shy away from the difficult realities of poverty and racism that are often associated with the experiences of black women in America. The performances in the film are exceptional, particularly that of Mo’Nique, who won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for her role as Mary. She is able to convey the complexity of her character, who is both deeply abusive and deeply wounded herself, in a way that is both terrifying and heart-breaking.

Gabourey Sidibe’s performance as Precious is also exceptional, as she is able to convey both the pain and the resilience of her character. Her transformation from a quiet and withdrawn teenager to a confident and self-assured young woman over the course of the film is inspiring and moving.

One of the most powerful aspects of the film is the way in which it portrays the importance of education and the transformative power of learning. Ms. Rain, who is a beacon of hope and positivity in Precious’s life, helps her to see that she has the ability to change her circumstances and to pursue her dreams. This message is particularly powerful given the many obstacles that Precious faces, including poverty, abuse, and illiteracy.

Overall, “Precious” is a difficult but important film that shines a light on the experiences of black women in America and the transformative power of education. The performances are outstanding, the direction is powerful, and the message is both heart-wrenching and uplifting. It is a film that will stay with you long after the credits have rolled.

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I recently got into a heated conversation with someone about the global impacts of gender based violence (GBV). The person I had the conversation with confidently believed that GBV is overly exaggerated, and that it is “NOT AS BAD” as what social media makes it out to be. At first, I was reluctant to engage with someone, who in my view was clearly ignorant. However, the nature of the conversation was so triggering that I had no choice but to fully engage. As the conversation went on, I found myself expressing just how gruesome GBV truly is. I even highlighted one or two expert evidence that confirms the ever increasing rates of violence against women and girls across the globe, and I pointed out that there are countless lived experiences, shared stories and even confessions that highlights the severity of GBV on a global spectrum. At that point I knew that there was no way I was going to allow anyone to dilute the seriousness of GBV nor was I going to allow anyone to deny GBV the global stage it deserves.

This heated conversation made me realise that GBV has the potential to be denied the much needed global attention it deserves. GBV is a global crisis that warrants immediate and effective action, not only by law enforcers and victims but also by everyday citizens. Experts have revealed that about 736 million women globally (almost 1 in 3 women) have been subjected to intimate partner violence, non-partner sexual violence, or both at least once in their life. Furthermore, data reveals that less than 40% of the women who experience GBV seek help. Additionally, about 15 million adolescent girls worldwide, aged between 15–19 years, have experienced forced sex (forced sexual intercourse or other sexual acts). To add to this, in many countries, adolescent girls are most at risk of forced sex by a current or former husband, partner, or boyfriend, and according to data collected from 30 countries, only 1% of these girls seek professional help. Clearly GBV “IS AS BAD” as what social media makes it out to be, and ignoring this crisis is what creates socially unaware citizens, passive policy makers/law enforcers, and powerless victims.

Although the result of the heated conversation was an outburst of all types of feelings and emotions (fear, confusion, frustration and even outrage), I still felt a great sense of relief for being able to articulate myself well enough to voice my opinions on this matter. This conversation made me realise that societal shifts, social awareness and education regarding GBVstarts with me. These are the types of conversations I will no longer shy away from because any form of violence or ill treatment towards women and girls can no longer be ignored. Regardless of how “emotional” I may get, I will continue to have such conversations in order to raise awareness about the issues that truly matter to me. This is how I regain my power, this is how I evolve!

Sources: https://www.unwomen.org/en/what-we-do/ending-violence-against-women/facts-and-figures

https://www.unwomen.org/en/news/in-focus/in-focus-gender-equality-in-covid-19-response/violence-against-women-during-covid-19

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Not too long ago I wrote an article about how being raped as a toddler still affects me today. Many months have passed since that article and the number of emails and messages I receive to this day astounds me. Not because I am surprised by how so many women have gone through a similar experience. But because I thought I was the only one who was living with the life long ramifications of my past. I can tell you first hand that even through therapy and lots of communication, I still find myself needing emotional support from my partner. Especially when it comes to the bedroom. Without going into too much detail, I will say that communication and honesty has been the backbone of my marriage.

Having someone I trust implicitly has helped so much when I am feeling disconnected sexually or even just physically. Given that I was sexually assaulted by someone I trusted, makes it harder sometimes (even with a loving partner) to make out what is real and what is not. Somehow my toddler brain (I was 5 when I was raped) still tries to find signs of wrong doing. Or a reason to pull back and run away.

One thing I have learnt time and time again is that time does not heal all wounds. It can make them easier to live with. But being violated in anyway can take a lifetime and then some to get over. So be patient with yourself. As long as you are putting in the work, finding the support you need and moving forward, even just an inch. You are doing enough.

It’s also ok to sometimes wallow in the loss. One thing I realized not too long ago is how quickly I told myself to not feel sorry for myself. To not indulge my past pain or trauma. But sometimes it’s hard not to. Especially when I am highly triggered by watching or seeing news of something similar happening to someone else. being an empath means that more often than not I relive my own trauma. And feel the pain and loss all over again. So it’s ok to take time to feel the pain. You did lose something and you have every right to feel what ever it is you feel. Whether it’s anger, pain or just numb. Thats ok. The trick is to remember to seek help where you can. Speak to a friend, partner, family member or therapist.

I’ve also learnt to give myself a time frame to feel sorry for myself. Usually I don’t sit with the pain, fear and anger for more than a day. As a mom o a toddler, I also cannot give myself more than that and try to remind myself of what is good in the world. About my family, my daughter and how much I have been able to achieve. I also take the time that I cannot be productive to practice radical self care. This includes working out, taking a bath, playing in the park for hours with my daughter and cooking.

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If you come from a conservative community and country like I do. Then the idea of sexual pleasure, especially for women, has always been on the down low. From the lack of open discussions around it to the lack of information. And as someone who only discovered sexual pleasure later in life. I can say for sure that my background has had an influence on how I go about exploring my sexual self, and how it relates to others. It has taken me years of therapy, talking , learning and exploring to finally accept and even want to enjoy my sexual side.

And whilst this idea of a young woman being sexually liberated may still be taboo. It should not be. Especially when it is done in a safe way. Which is why I was both stunned and relieved when I started to talk to my more open minded girlfriends. One thing they all said (we are in our early 3o’s now se we talk about everything), is that the best thing they have ever gotten themselves. Or been gifted has been a vibrator. Now before you shake your head in disbelief, heres why I am all for it. For generations so many young women like myself are not taught to love our bodies. To explore and expend our sexual knowledge. So much so that when we do finally have sex, it is only to please the opposite sex or our partners, but not ourselves.

This not only creates an issue in how we view sex, but also what sex feels like.  Which is why self exploration is so important. And whilst there is no one way to do it, a common way is through masturbation. Since I’ve started to explore my own body, sensuality and sexuality. I have started to know what I like. What feels good and what feels comfortable. Which in turn has meant that my sex life has become better. So whether you chose to let your fingers do all the work, or use a toy. I would recommend spending time getting to know yourself sexually. If anything it is the safest and possibly the most fun you can have.

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.Senior faith leaders from around the world are calling for the decriminalization of the LGBTQ+ community. Religious leaders of all faiths gathered in London for this landmark event funded by the British Government. The declaration is signed by more than 370 senior faith leaders. Including Archbishop Desmond Tutu, eight other archbishops, the former Catholic President of Ireland, 60 rabbis. As well as high ranking Muslims, Sikhs, Hindus, and Buddhists. 

The declaration demands a global ban on ‘conversion therapy’ condemning any ‘attempts to change, suppress, or erase a person’s sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression.’ In a statement, the commission said, “We recognize that certain religious teachings have, throughout the ages, been misused to cause deep pain and offense to those who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and intersex,” 

Conversion therapy still exists in many countries. Based on global research, the ILGA report identified,’ the main driving forces behind these harmful practices are religious leaders and prejudice”. It is mostly people driven by traditional social norms and their religious beliefs who push their family members to participate in conversion therapy. Children and teenagers are often the primary victims forced to have therapy against their will. The practice uses psychological and physical methods to ‘cure’ people of their sexual or gender identity. For some time, psychologists, health providers, activists, and victims have been rallying against conversion therapy. Now religious leaders have put forward a clear message. It is time for governments around the world to put laws into place to protect the LGBTQ+ community. 

As Sarah Mullally, the bishop of London and number three in the Church of England, said, “When Christian teachings are distorted to incite violence, this is a dreadful abuse of the gospel message.”. Archbishop Desmond Tutu is a vocal voice championing LGBTQ+ rights. “I would not worship a God who is homophobic, and that is how deeply I feel about this.”. Archbishop Tutu said the campaign against homophobia was similar to the campaign waged against racism in South Africa.  

The declaration provides welcome clarification for many people of faith. It gives proof there is no justification for people to use religious texts to attack or hold a bias towards the LGBTQ+ community. There are plenty of people of faith who are members of the LGBTQ+ community. Most of whom have not found acceptance in their church and community due to misguided religious teachings. This declaration opens the doors to much-needed acceptance and change.

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As a heterosexual black woman of colour, I, like millions of others who share my skin tone and or gender, I have moved through the world in a way that often feels oppressive and difficult to get through.  However if you are lesbian, gay, bisexual, intersexual, a-sexual, queer, transgender or even on the spectrum, things may look a lot harder. From being called names, to being teased. Or even being correctively raped, as so many queer, lesbian and bisexual women are. And whilst I cannot even begin to fathom the pain and hurt one goes through as a member of the LGBTQIA community. I do know the feeling of rejection, ridicule, and torment as much as the next person. Which is why when I hear people talk about how being lesbian or gay or even transgender is against the law or their beliefs. I am both startled and outraged.

In part because not too long ago black people in South Africa were not seen as equal to other races. And if everyone kept to the idea and mentality that the government, religion or anyone else says it’s not ok. Then my marriage to my white husband. And our mixed raced daughter would be a crime some 20 years ago still. And the multi cultural family I have would be nothing but an idea.

I know it is easy to sit back and wait for others to fix the discriminatory issues un our society. But again I say, if no one does anything, then a lot of us would not have the privileges that we have today. Which is why despite what others may say. We need only look at our own experiences, past and present pain to see that things need to change. That no person should be treated with anything but love and respect. Which simply means we need to do better. By reading, asking questions and even questioning the statues quo. Because the sale way I know I am tired of explaining my blackness to others. I know so many members of the LGBTQIA community feel the same. Especially when information is often readily available.

So the next time you think of judging someone because of their sexual identity of preference. Think about the ways you have been hurt and discriminated on and then do better. Because if we don’t change things, who will?

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Understanding the female body can seem like an impossible task. But once you know the basics, the rest is pretty easy. Which is why the first place to start is understanding our hormones. The things that make it possible for us to have sex, grow breasts and have babies.

The three major types of sex hormones are estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone. Both males and females have all these hormones in varying quantities. For example, women have testosterone, and men have estrogen in their bodies – but in very small amounts.

Female hormones are the hormones that the body produces to help with feminine physical, reproductive, and sexual development. Estrogen and progesterone are the dominating female sex hormones whereas testosterone is the dominating male sex hormone.

The main female sex hormones, in particular, play a significant role in puberty, menstruation cycle, pregnancy, and during the menopausal stage.The estrogen hormone is released by the ovaries (organs that produce the woman’s egg). And in addition, there is a small amount of estrogen produced by the adrenal glands (which are located on top of each kidney). Estrogen hormones play a big role in the development and growth of breast, pubic, and underarm hair. It also facilitates the starting process of the menstrual cycle.

After the release of an egg by the ovaries, a temporary gland called corpus luteum (found in the ovaries) produces progesterone hormone. The progesterone hormone is important in preparing the woman’s body for pregnancy- just in case the released egg gets fertilized. If fertilization does not occur, the temporary corpus luteum dies out and the menstrual cycle starts over again. However, if fertilization occurs, the progesterone hormone is produced in more quantities to help maintain and support the pregnancy.

It is important that these hormones are in a balanced state to maintain healthy sexual and reproductive systems. An imbalance in sex hormones may lead to gynecological problems, mood disorders, changes in libido, and sometimes skin problems such as acne. Which is why one of the first things to do when experiencing the above issues, is to ask your DR to check your hormone levels. These can sometimes be rebalanced with medication, or changing up your lifestyle. What ever the case, knowing about these hormones and the role they play is one of the first steps to taking control of your body. After all, knowledge is power.

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