My Journey to motherhood and having a child out of ‘wedlock’

Written by: Admin_SheEvo

I was in my last semester at the university. I was still dating the brightest gentleman in our course, Bachelor of Commerce.

The love was unforgettable, with many road tours and late eating together as we talked about our future, how many kids we would have, and where we would build our home.

On Sunday, the pastor was not left out from our love talks. He prayed for us, and when my girlfriend told me he had cheated on me over the previous weekend, every word didn’t sink in my brain.

I was already wearing the ring, proposed, ready to be called Kelvin’s wife.

I was a virgin at 24 years, and on my birthday, the only gift I thought would make him never leave me was the treasured flower.

In exchange, I got flowers, many cards, a sumptuous dinner, wine, and a big lie that he was also a virgin.

I rejected my mother’s advice and, just like a naive girl ready to become a woman, allowed the feast to go on in a guest house. I thought it was a wise decision, but there I was in a few minutes in tears and in pain, remembering all the advice from my aunts about their first time.

The heartbreak I experienced that evening as my girlfriend narrated what had transpired between my boyfriend and my friend Florence was traumatizing.

That weekend, my boyfriend had told me he was traveling to his mother’s house for some function and would be coming back on Monday.

The shock hit me; all this had been a plan to get my girlfriend Florence in his car, drive to town, get a room, and enjoy the weekend while I studied back at university.

Flashbacks of any red flags started drowning in me. He would stare at the lady, and when I asked about it, he said he was not admiring, and I didn’t believe my instincts.

I often found them talking in the library and assumed they were studying or revising.

We all see red flags, but love blinds us and makes it hard to acknowledge them. It’s better to run or leave before the truth hits you. No memories or fun can heal the scar or heartbreak when the rain starts pouring. Only time can heal all of that.

Time healed me, but I ended up getting pregnant with a baby boy. I met a good-looking Luo man who wiped away my tears and gave me peace, passion, romance, and love.

Heartbreaks sprout lots of cravings for hugs, compassion, and yearning for belonging and love.

Given my past, I didn’t want this second relationship to be that serious at first, and we never talked or planned for the future.

I feared the unknown, and the unknown gave birth to the known, a bouncing baby boy. There I was, a mother, but I had graduated and was working, yet with no husband.