Written by: Phindile Le Bris Sithole-Spong

If there is one thing I love about working at She Evolves. It is the idea that we hold near and dear that we are all enough as we are. In a world where everything is pushing you to be bigger, better and even faster. Knowing that you can and should take a step back from the noise of social media and social pressures to always be better, do better and somehow have your shit together is something I have fully rejected and continue to reject every day.

And whilst scrolling through Instagram for long enough or talking to friends can sometimes leave me feeling like I am somehow not doing enough. I am constantly working on my inner voice. The one that does not rise and fall based off of other peoples ideas of who I am, what I should do and who I should be.

This is why this February, as we celebrate the month of love, and all the different forms it takes. I’d like to leave you with some tips I use to help me practice self-love every day. Whether you use them as often as I do does not matter. What I do hope however is that they remind you that you are enough. You are doing enough, and loving yourself is always the assignment and goal.

  1. Stay off social media: I can’t stress this enough especially as someone who struggles with this myself but social media is not always a friend. So taking pockets of time to just unplug is important for your mental and emotional health.
  2. Define success and happiness for yourself: I recently heard an interview (I can’t remember by whom now) where they talked about happiness. The basic premise was that instead of seeking out happiness we should all seek out meaning. We are often told that happiness is the answer but as the interviewee stated, something thins like visiting a loved one in hospital will not bring you happiness. And if the current measure to life is to believe one would steer clear of a situation like this. Instead, we should seek out meaning. Because whilst things that have meaning don’t always make us happy. They do connect us to our higher selves and make us better people. So instead of wanting to always be happy to “live your best life”. Aim instead to fill your life with meaning and define this for yourself. The same idea can be applied to success. Because whilst we often think of success as having money or a budding career. Success can mean something different and that is OK.
  3. Love the journey: Sometimes in life I know we can get so focused on reaching a goal that we forget that we actually need to just enjoy the journey. Including all the ups and downs, the side roads and streets that lead us to where we want to be. So instead of looking at where you are going, take a moment to look at where you are right now, that place deserves your attention too.

So ladies, as we celebrate love and all the different love relationships we have, I hope you can focus on the most important relationship of all. The one you have with yourself.


Phindile Le Bris Sithole-Spong

Having been with She Evolves since its early days when it was called GirlZtalk. Over the years I have held several roles and was part of the brainstorming team for the She Evolves that exists today. ¿Questions? ¿Do you want to write us, or to publish an article with us? Please go to our Contact page!