There is a purpose for your pain

Written by: Admin_SheEvo

Many times as people, we are inclined to fear pain or even wish it away, craving for ease and comfort. However, one thing I’ve realized as I continue to evolve is that the difficult, challenging times have brought me growth, confidence, courage, and strength. Every time I’ve encountered something challenging, I’ve emerged stronger with a better outlook on life. Just recently, as I pondered on my own life and how far I’ve come as a person, and even reflecting on the way I interact with life and other human beings, I realized that the struggles or challenging times in my life have made me a more compassionate, less judgmental, empathetic person. They have molded me to be a better caring person, contrary to the saying “hurt people hurt.” I love so much a perspective offered by one of my amazing mentors, which says “not all hurt people hurt; that some hurt people go on and change the world.” I believe that the negative encounters I’ve experienced in life have led me to some of the most beautiful experiences.

When I lost both my mother and grandmother back in 2005 during the formative years of my life, I thought it was the most terrible thing one could experience. For the longest time, I asked myself why me. I also went through a terrible friendship breakup, went through rejection, and so many other heavy stuff, but out of each occasion, I always emerged a better person, in hindsight. However, I do want to share that it hasn’t always been my perspective, but going through a self-healing journey is what made me have a different perspective on pain and negative situations that one may encounter.

There is a gift and a purpose for your pain; it does not matter what your own pain is—might be sickness, loss, barrenness, disability—each and every person has their own burden, but it’s the perspective you have about that situation which will determine whether it’s transmuted to a good cause or it shapes you negatively. The challenge facing today’s society is that we are taught to seek the “soft life”; we are taught to leave when it gets hard, we are taught to cut people off if they don’t agree with us; hence, sometimes it’s difficult to handle things when life happens. Life happens for us, not to us, they say. Let the challenges of life mold you and propel you forward. Always ask the question “what is this situation here to teach me?” What wisdom can I glean from this? How can I make lemonade out of these lemons? I believe if we can all get to this realization, so much healing can happen to us as individuals, therefore shaping more resilient parents, partners, leaders, and communities. Don’t wish away pain; rather, ask for the strength to endure and be refined by the pain. Keep evolving.

Written by Gomolemo Malebye

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