Written by: Admin_SheEvo
When I was 19, I received a life-altering diagnosis. The doctors called it soft tissue sarcoma. The tumour spanned from my pelvis to my knee, entangling itself with every soft tissue it could reach, including the sciatic nerve. The treatment plan was aggressive and unrelenting: radiation, surgery, chemotherapy, followed by more surgery and radiation. Each phase brought its own set of challenges. Still, the surgery was particularly harrowing – especially because the tumour was inseparable from the sciatic nerve, which led to a complex and painful removal process that left me with a lasting disability and severe chronic pain.
The chronic pain I endure, still to date, is a constant reminder of my battle. It radiates from my lower back, leading down to my leg and foot, making every step an insurmountable ordeal. Some days, the pain is a little ache; on others, it feels like a relentless, burning fire that nothing can extinguish. The simplest tasks can become gruelling efforts at any given moment. Walking, standing, even sitting for extended periods is excruciating.
Living with chronic pain and disability has taken a significant psychological toll on me. There are days when everything is conspiring against me, making life seem impossibly hard. The constant discomfort and the limitations imposed by my condition often lead to feelings of frustration and despair. Most of us can agree that it is challenging to maintain a positive outlook when pain is your constant companion. Nonetheless, I’ve learnt to find strength in the small wins and moments of relief.
Over the years, I’ve developed various coping mechanisms to manage my pain and maintain some facade of a normal life. Physical and occupational therapy has become a staple in my routine, helping to alleviate some of the discomfort and improve my mobility – one step at a time. Also, on days when I can barely leave the room, I try mindfulness, prayer and journaling to help manage the mental strain that accompanies the pain. While these strategies don’t completely take away, they provide me with tools to cope and continue moving forward with a little bit of ease.
On the other hand, as a pharmacist, my personal experience with chronic pain has profoundly influenced my professional life. I have a deeper empathy for my patients, particularly those dealing with chronic conditions. My first-hand knowledge of pain management has made me a better healthcare provider, as I can offer not only medical advice but also emotional support and understanding from my experience. However, there are days when balancing my own health needs with the demands of my profession feels emotionally overwhelming due to the trauma imposed.
Despite the numerous challenges, my journey has been one of courage, strength and hope. I’ve discovered an inner fortitude I never knew I had. Each day, I strive to find purpose and meaning, whether it’s through helping my patients, advocating for better pain management, or simply finding joy in small, everyday moments. My experiences have taught me the importance of tenacity and the value of support from friends, family, and colleagues.
Living with chronic neuropathic and cancer pain is an ongoing battle, one that requires constant adaptation and strong faith. At 28, I continue to go through the complexities of my condition, drawing on the strength I’ve gained over the years. I don’t know where this journey leads, but I remain steadfast in faith, knowing that I am never alone, even in the darkest moments, even when it hurts the most. I will keep holding on to God.
Written by Mutshidzi Kwinda
