Written by: Lerato Mokoena
I don’t know how to address you because I never got the chance to meet you. I don’t know your reasons nor do I understand why I wasn’t important enough for you to stick around or how you could abandon me without knowing me. However I don’t need your explanations or apology as too much time has passed and with them any explanation that would make sense to me. I see now that parenting was an option for you, but to my mother she made it her passion. I want you to know that the pain that I felt all these years in your absence in my life has made me a stronger woman. Not only have I learn’t to face challenges head on and conquer them, I have also learnt to value and appreciate the people in my life who have chosen to stick around and support me.
There is so much I would have loved to share with you but then again that will forever be a dream. Especially when all these years the word “father” has been my worst nightmare. A reminder of something I will never have or experience. But I also want you to know that I do not hate you. After all, how can you hate someone you do not know? Because I’ve never heard your voice, never seen your face and never felt your touch. To me you remain a stranger; an unknown.
I want you to know that your absence has made me not only much stronger and better than I’d ever imagined. But also wiser. So thank you, who ever and where ever you are.