Written by: Phindile Le Bris Sithole-Spong
There is so much that we still don't know about pregnancy and giving birth. Which is why any mother can tell you how stressful it is when you are pregnant to know that at any moment things could go wrong. As a new mom myself I cannot begin to count the number of times I couldn't sleep from worry that my baby would suddenly miscarry or that I would go into labour prematurely. As the sole provider and care taker, as mothers we find ourselves under a lot of pressure. Which is why when something does go wrong we are quick to blame ourselves,. Even though the fact is, most of the time, it is out of our hands.
This was the case last week with celebrity chef and model Chrissy Teigen. Whom not long after announcing her pregnancy with husband musician and actor John Legend, she had a miscarriage. Teigen who is known for sharing her life and thoughts on social media, shared the sad news of her baby boys passing. Whilst most people were sympathetic and even encouraging of the model and chef. There were others who were not impressed.
Perhaps because people think that grief and pain should happen in silence. Or because her openness triggered something for some people. What ever the reason, we at She Evolves, applaud Teigen for her bravery and vulnerability. Which is why I thought we would share some things I have learnt since the news broke.
- That pain and grief affects us in different ways
- That 10-15% of miscarriages happen in the first trimester
- And that 1-5% happen in the second trimester
- That most women are expected to suffer in silence and bare the brunt of the emotional pain alone
- That no matter what our own personal views on abortion, babies or birth, we can all sympathies with someone going through a loss
- That grieving looks different for all of us. As someone who enjoys writing and sharing and finds it cathartic, I can understand Chrissy sharing her story. Not only to bring light to what so many women go through, but also as a way to grieve.
- And finally that social media is not just about sharing the perfect moments in life. It also about sharing the real ones.