Written by: Admin_SheEvo
I recently started working as an essential pharmacist assistant in one of the biggest tertiary hospitals in South Africa. This opportunity has been a dream come true because I had been struggling to find a job after applying to many companies without getting any callbacks.
When I first started working at the Department of Health, I was a general worker. Although the work was challenging and required a lot of manual labour, I mainly worked in isolation. For instance, I had my designated hospital section where I worked without any boss or colleagues hovering over me all day.
As a teenager, I felt ashamed of my family’s poor background. To fit in with other kids at school, I would create a perfect and wealthy family fantasy. I attended a school far away from my village, so it was unlikely that anyone would find out about my family’s poor background.
As a child, I was pretty shy and came from a low-income family. But despite my circumstances, I worked hard at school, and although I was not the smartest, I usually ranked in the top 30 of every grade. I hoped to become well-off one day and help my family have a better life than I had.
After working as a general worker for approximately a year and a half, I discovered a leadership available for studying to become a pharmacist assistant. I applied for the program and was accepted into the academy. However, after starting the program, I became entirely withdrawn and began experiencing panic attacks and social anxiety. As a result, I began avoiding attending lectures unless they were mandatory. Being introverted, it was challenging for me to socialise with others, and my anxiety only made it worse. Unfortunately, I was unable to make any friends during the program.
After completing my introductory course in pharmacy assistance, I got my first job in the field. However, despite my qualifications and hard work, I found myself struggling with impostor syndrome. This sense of inadequacy has affected me so much that I have started calling in sick due to anxiety, even though I have only recently started working. I am aware that I need to seek medical intervention soon, but the thought of reaching out to my therapist makes me anxious as well.
Although I am currently experiencing some challenges, I am determined to succeed and overcome my fears. At the moment, I am taking things one step at a time, and I have faith that God will guide me through. I am unsure of how or when, but I trust that God will provide the strength and support I need to keep going.
