Written by: Admin_SheEvo

As I was growing up, I always had a dream of being completely financially independent. Relying on someone else, especially a man, was never an option for me. I was never fascinated by the traditional roles of a wife and mother. In fact, I felt like they were a threat to the freedom I cherished. Now, as I write this, I can’t help but wonder if this mindset came from not having a father or father figure around from as early as 6 months old. My single mother was the only parent I knew, and she demonstrated that the strength of a mother who fulfils the role of two parents is truly unmatched.

As my friends started dating in our teenage years, I was bewildered by their excitement about men. Sharing everything – emotions, responsibilities, and even personal space – seemed more like a burden than a blessing to me. While they were dreaming about future weddings, romance, and babies, I was focused on planning a life where I did not have to shrink myself down, one that would be free from the expectations of marriage.

I remember having lessons in school about marriage and relationships that only strengthened my resolve. I distinctly recall saying to my best friend of that time that if I ever got married, I would never share a bed with my husband – at least not every single day. The concept of living in separate homes seemed like an ideal way to maintain my independence. And yes, I know that it might sound crazy and far-fetched, but to me, it felt like the perfect compromise: having a partner without giving up personal freedom and space.

As I approached my thirties, my life took an unexpected turn. I found myself in a relationship with someone who understood and respected my need for space and independence. Despite my initial resistance, as time went on, I realized that gradually, love had found a way to sneak up on me (when I least expected it) and convinced me that it was okay to change my perspective on things. I find it really funny sometimes how life can surprise you.

Within the nine years together now, my partner slowly brought out a side of me I never knew existed (or would ever exist). Suddenly, the idea of sharing my life with someone didn’t seem so frightening. In fact, it became something I looked forward to every day. This relationship taught me that being with someone doesn’t mean losing yourself. Instead, it showed me that true love respects and nurtures individuality while creating a powerful bond.

They say, “Nothing is certain in life,” and my journey has taught me the truth of this phrase. I have also learned that the walls I built to protect my independence were also keeping out the joys of true love and vulnerability. Now, all I want is to spend my whole life with my partner, through every moment; I never want to be without the embrace of his presence.


  1. Reply


    July 1, 2024


  2. Reply

    Gomolemo Malebye

    July 3, 2024

    Absolutely beautiful ❤️ may your love blossom.. endless blessings.



My name is Yasmine Luhandjula, and I am the Chief Editor for She Evolves World. My role is to plan, manage and produce quality, engaging and informative content for our readers.

June 28, 2024