Written by: Admin_SheEvo
I want to acknowledge to myself and the universe
that I am a beautiful woman—
whole, radiant, and worthy.
Not because someone sees it,
but because I do.
And when love finds me,
it will be because it recognizes what I already know,
that I am deserving of care, softness, and joy.
I am tired of always being the one who understands,
adjusts, and carries the weight.
I want to rest. I want to be soft.
I want to be held without having to earn it.
There is a version of me—gentle, warm, poetic—
who whispers beneath my strength,
“Let me breathe too. Let me be free”.
I don’t want to wear armor to feel safe anymore.
I want to wear my tenderness like silk
and feel the power.
I long for someone who sees all of me—
not just the intellect, not just the ambition,
but the girl who loves dancing alone,
who cries when she’s overwhelmed,
who wants to be told, “You don’t have to do this alone.”
I also want to wear sweatpants and an oversized hoodie
and watch a movie
and wear shorts and oversized T-shirts
without anyone labeling me or putting me in a box.
And I also want to wear expensive, beautiful, magnificent suits and dresses—
not for validation,
but because they reflect me As a woman of grace, power, strength, and magnificence.
Not just any woman—
but one in the lineage of warriors and mothers,
of dreamers and fighters.
Like the women who stood their ground when history tried to silence them.
Like the women who raised nations
and carried generations on their backs with quiet dignity.
I carry them in my bones.
And I deserve to walk this world
as the whole of me—
unapologetic, unhidden, and deeply loved.
And lately,
I’ve had this urge—
to buy a beautiful, powerful car,
to learn how to drive it like I own the world,
Maybe I could even drift to feel the wind shout my name.
I want that freedom. That edge. That thrill.
Not for the world’s approval but for me.
I deserve joy. Adventure. Control.
And honestly?
I miss Me.
I miss coming home to my presence,
to my energy filling the space like soft music.
I ache for the days
when I was the only main character in the room—
the silence mine, the chaos mine,
With peace.
I want to return to myself
like an old friend I’ve been too long away from.
By: Tunai Murunga
Tourist Nixie (@touristnixie) • Instagram photos and videos
