Written by: Phindile Le Bris Sithole-Spong
If I could describe the first year of motherhood in one sentence it would have to be “information overload”. With so much information out there on how to take care of a tiny human (and they do require a lot of care and work), it can sometimes get overwhelming. But if there is one thing I have loved learning about since becoming a mother. It has been how to raise a confident, loved and secure daughter. And whilst this is in no way the only way to do things, I do love the idea of attachment parenting and what it talks about.
What is secure attachment
Healthline describes secure attachment as “A bond that meets a child’s need for security, calm, and understanding allows for optimal development of the child’s nervous system. A child’s developing brain organizes itself to provide a foundation based on a feeling of safety.”
How to practice secure attachment
Whilst it may seem like a tall order. Practicing secure attachment is easier than one might think. By the above definition, one can practice secure attachment by ensuring that their child feels loved and cared for. And by ensuring that the childs emotional, psychological and physical meets are met. This means responding appropriately to a child’s cries, ensuring they are well fed and minimizing harm.
What I have gained from practicing secure attachment
Whilst i cannot be sure what aspects of my parenting have resulted in my daughters behaviour. Since reading and practicing secure attachment I have seen how independent she has become. And whilst she still views me as her anchor in any room. She will happily go and play by herself or with other people, with the thought that I am around to protect her. This has also meant that since she was seven months old she has been able to go sleep over at her grandparents house for the night and not freak out as she knows that I will always come back. This has ensured that I can get some much needed rest every now and then. And she can form bonds and relationships with other people. And whilst this method of parenting may not work for everyone, it has done wonders for our family and I would recommend giving it a try to see if it will work for you too.