Written by: Admin_SheEvo
As the stripe on the pregnancy test showed positive, my heart plunged into darkness. I cried out to my boyfriend, ‘I am pregnant.’ I couldn’t believe it was my voice, and I stumbled out of the bathroom sobbing. I was in a foreign country, his country, and I had no idea what to do. We were travelling, and so we went to the local doctor. He confirmed I was pregnant and told us the options. It was to keep the baby or have an abortion.
I couldn’t believe it and was grateful my boyfriend had taken the lead. He asked me what I wanted to do. Our relationship was unstable; he was abusive, and I knew that if I kept the baby, I was signing up for a life I did not want to have. I said I wanted an abortion but was terrified as to what that would mean. He rang the university hospital in his home city and spoke with the head of gynaecology. The doctor was very understanding and said I should come on Monday at 10 am. It was Thursday. We stayed where we were for the next two days and pretended everything was normal. We could not go to his parent’s house, so we drove back and went to a hotel on Sunday.
Monday morning arrived, and I found myself in a waiting room with other young women my age or possibly younger. My name was called. In a daze, I made my way to the changing room. I prayed and prayed, feeling my heart pounding. I recoiled and kept quiet as they led me to the theatre. The nurse kicked my shoes to the side, and the next thing I knew, I was in a ward with my boyfriend standing beside me. I am unsure how much time passed, but the nurse came in and told us I could leave.
I got dressed, and we left. I spent the next two days resting at the hotel, not wanting to go. I was somehow in shock from the experience and confused about what I should do. My boyfriend lost his patience and said enough was enough. I had to get on with life and forget it had happened. It was hard and hurtful, but it somehow pushed me to do that. I realized he was not the man I wanted to be with, so I left as soon as I could.
None of us want to find ourselves in this situation as it is avoidable. I ask, what could I have done differently? That’s easy. Don’t have unprotected sex, and knowing that there is a risk, take the morning-after pill. It was a case of it not going to happen to me, and I suffered from such ignorant thoughts. It can happen to anyone, and it does. Accidents happen, but we generally have the opportunity to find a solution rather than pray it won’t happen. It was a hard lesson to learn.
I have kids with a man I love today, so I don’t doubt my decision. I am so grateful that I had the means to change my situation. It could have been very different. We did not have the financial means to raise a child, and our relationship was not a stable and loving environment to bring a child into this world.
