Written by: Admin_SheEvo
My name is Mrs. S, and I am married to my husband, Mr. S. I am a 37-year-old coloured woman. I was born and raised in Cape Town but moved to Johannesburg in 2010 during the World Cup. I am the oldest of four sisters. My mom passed away after I got married, and even though I was old enough, it was a difficult time for me. My dad is still alive, but he hasn’t been very involved in our lives since we were kids. He has now moved to an informal settlement in Cape Flats with a girlfriend who is around our age, and things have gone from bad to worse.
2010 was a turning point for me. I came to Joburg for a job opportunity that I got during the World Cup, and I have been living here ever since. I met my husband in late 2010, and things moved very quickly towards marriage. Little did I know that it was the start of a lifetime of troubles. I am married to an abuser, a narcissist, and a very selfish person. We have one son, who is 12 years old. I have stayed in this marriage for the sake of my son, even though many people have urged me to leave. I find it hard to leave because I love him so much, and financially, he provides the lifestyle that I have become accustomed to, albeit with abuse. His mother supports his behaviour and gives reasons why he should keep treating me this way.
I studied office administration and have had a few contract opportunities, but I haven’t been able to secure a permanent position. I am financially dependent on him, and despite his abusive behaviour, he does have a positive side. He has improved my life materially, but he is a narcissist, and everything revolves around him. I have become more of a servant to him because it’s his way or the highway.
I joined an organization for gender-based violence, and it has helped me to heal and understand that I am indeed in an abusive relationship. The counselling sessions have been helpful, and I am slowly regaining my confidence and strength to leave this relationship while I am still alive.
I have chosen to remain anonymous, but I hope that my story reaches many and helps enlighten others. Abuse is real, and women must stand firm and lead the way.
