Written by: Admin_SheEvo
The intensity of my first crush was like a tidal wave, sweeping me up in its powerful tide. I was just a young girl, barely 10 years old, yet I felt like I was drowning in the depths of my emotions. Ken, a tall and handsome boy, became the object of my affection. I admired him from afar, too shy to approach him, yet I couldn’t help but fantasize about him—wishing he would sit next to me in class. There was just one problem: I wasn’t the only girl who liked Ken. My neighbor, Helen, harbored the same feelings for him, and it didn’t take long for her presence to complicate things.
Helen made my fifth-grade experience uncomfortable. Maybe it wouldn’t have been as painful if Ken had defended me. But to my surprise, Ken never came to my rescue—not even once. How could he, though, when he didn’t even know how I felt about him? Or did he know and simply choose to ignore me? Was it my responsibility to let him know? The pressure from Helen became so overwhelming that I eventually gave up on Ken. As I reflect on that experience now, I realize it was more than just a crush—it was a journey of self-discovery and a crash course in navigating the complexities of human emotions. I was caught up in a whirlwind of excitement, admiration, jealousy, and rejection, all of which left me feeling lost and uncertain.
As I grew older, I began to understand how media shaped my perception of love. Romantic movies and TV shows painted an unrealistic picture of love as a fairy tale, where all a girl had to do was look beautiful, and a man would be swept off his feet. The reality, however, was vastly different. Ken didn’t budge an inch toward my advances. I couldn’t help but wonder: Was it because I wasn’t beautiful enough?
My experience with Ken taught me valuable lessons. Back then, I believed that having a boyfriend, like the other girls, would add value to my life. By the time I finished primary school and realized I didn’t have one, it took a toll on my self-esteem. Ken ended up with another girl, leaving me in a space of questioning my worth. But as I grew and reflected, I learned a life-changing truth: My worth and value come from within, not from any relationship. I don’t have to be someone’s “item” to be valuable. I’m not property. I don’t need anyone else to define my self-worth. I am enough, just as I am.
I also realized that relationships are complex and deeply personal. No two people experience love in the same way, and what works for one person may not work for another. Perhaps Ken’s understanding of love was different from mine back then. How can two people walk together unless they share the same understanding? Looking back on my first crush, I see a young girl trying to find her place in the world. I also see someone strong, capable, and deserving, who emerged wiser from the experience. Helen’s rivalry taught me another important lesson: You cannot force someone to love you. If another girl wants the same boy, let him choose. If he prefers you, he will come to you. If not, it’s his decision, not yours. No matter how much your competitor might try to undermine you, how you respond defines your strength.
Helen accused me of stealing her crush and spread false rumors about me, labeling me as a “loose girl” in front of my classmates. As a child, I felt powerless and heartbroken. But now I know that other people’s opinions don’t define me. My worth doesn’t depend on external validation, not even from someone I might have feelings for. If you’re struggling with self-doubt or facing rejection, I hope my story reminds you to embrace your uniqueness and trust your journey.
You are enough, just as you are. Don’t settle for anything less. Stay true to yourself, and never let anyone else define your self-worth. You’ve got this! You are strong, capable, and deserving of love and happiness.
Now go out there and crush it!
By Rita Mukisa
#MotherAfricaEchoes
+256 773807806
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IG: Ritamukisa
