Written by: Admin_SheEvo
As I reflect on my past, I realize my journey has been marked by moments of lust, anger, and pain. It began when I left for university after a vacation, stepping into a world filled with temptation and choices I wasn’t prepared for.
I found myself drawn to various handsome men who crossed my path. My relationship with Brian couldn’t withstand the strain of my desires, and it ended in anger and violence. It was a bitter chapter, but little did I know, it was only the beginning of a deeper struggle.
Soon after, I became captivated by a classmate, Collin, who reminded me of Ken, my childhood crush. Our secret relationship seemed exciting at first, but it quickly spiraled into something I wasn’t ready for. Despite agreeing to use protection, I found myself pregnant. Fearful of the consequences and desperate for a way out, I chose abortion.
The decision left me hollow, filled with guilt, shame, and trauma. I couldn’t escape the haunting thought: I am a murderer. Collin, instead of offering support, viewed the abortion as merely a solution to his problem. His indifference shattered me further. It became clear that we had both failed to value the life that had been growing inside me.
The aftermath was devastating. Collin started dating my roommate, leaving me with a broken heart and a world of pain. Depression, stress, and trauma consumed me. Yet, even in my darkest moments, I knew I had to heal and move forward.
Looking back, I see that while the experience was painful, it taught me invaluable lessons. Though the journey was harrowing, it has been one of healing, growth, and transformation. The choices I made led me to confront harsh realities about myself and life. Here are the lessons I’ve learned that I hope will resonate with you:
1. Don’t Let Desire Control You
I thought I was in control, but in truth, my lust controlled me. My longing wasn’t just for a man’s embrace; it was an attempt to fill the emptiness caused by rejection and insecurity. I’ve learned to look inward and confront the root causes of such desires. Self-awareness is the first step to regaining control.
2. Violence is Never the Answer
Brian’s anger and violence were a wake-up call. Instead of supporting me through my struggles, he punished me for what I couldn’t fully control. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you, especially during your weakest moments. Stay away from relationships that perpetuate harm.
3. Take Responsibility for Your Actions
It’s easy to blame others for our mistakes, but growth comes when we own up to our decisions. I blamed Collin for not caring about our unborn child, but I, too, was responsible for how things turned out. This was a hard truth to accept, but it became a cornerstone of my personal growth.
4. Don’t Settle for Someone Who Doesn’t Value You
Collin’s lack of empathy showed he wasn’t the right person for me. Genuine love is evident when someone stands by you in your toughest times. If a person cannot offer kindness and understanding, they are not worth your time or heart.
5. Healing Takes Time
Healing is a process, not an event. It took time to confront the haunting memory of that day—the day I let go of life in a moment of fear and despair. It’s a memory I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Yet, here I stand today, whole and healed. To those who’ve walked a similar path, I sympathize deeply. Forgive yourself, be patient, and don’t hesitate to seek help when you need it.
6. You Have the Power to Choose Your Path
I once felt like a victim of my circumstances, but I’ve learned that I have the power to chart my course. Regret doesn’t have to define you. You can turn your pain into purpose. I’ve chosen to share my story, hoping it will inspire and transform lives. Life is indeed a master, teaching its greatest lessons in the University of Pain. Your past doesn’t determine your future. Use it as a stepping stone to create a better tomorrow—for yourself and others.
Remember, your journey is unique, and so are the lessons you’ll learn along the way. Don’t shy
away from sharing your story. You never know how many lives you might touch and transform.
By Rita Mukisa
#MotherAfricaEchoes
+256 773807806
