Written by: Admin_SheEvo
The joy of knowing I didn’t lose you—
The solace of knowing it could have been so much worse.
The pain you carried,
The self-hatred that consumed you,
I felt it.
The feeling of helplessness,
hopelessness, and despair
You tried to cover with your jokes,
I felt that so painfully
When I saw you on the
hospital bed in Maitama.
I saw how frustration and disappointment
Seeped into your body,
Weighing you down.
And yet, through the hurt,
You did everything to shield me.
You always made sure there was food on the table,
Clothes on my back, shoes on my feet.
You gave love,
Even when it meant sacrificing your own needs and reputation.
I remember you standing tall,
When someone wanted to harass me,
You were not going to have any of it.
You fought to protect me,
Even if it meant putting
Yourself through the fire.
Now, I wish I could go back—
To be the little girl holding your hand,
Sitting close to you in church,
Running to you for comfort.
I wish I could relive the days
When you wrapped wedding gifts on Saturdays; our duo weekend out,
Or let me model Kampala gowns for your customers.
I wish I could sleep beside you
At night I have nightmares about horror movies I watched during the day.
I wish we could go back to our kitchen in Kubwa
Time when I was learning how to cook Jollof rice a
And it always ended up under- cooked or overcooked.
But,
Now, I need to be your grown daughter.
I want to release you from your guilt,
The guilt that whispers you didn’t do enough,
The pain that convinces you of failure.
You gave everything,
And I see that now.
I want to hold your hands,
Like you once held mine when I was a child.
I want to look into your eyes and tell you,
“It’s going to be okay,”
Not just to comfort you,
But because I truly believe it will.
I want to shield you from hurt,
The way you shielded me.
But how can I protect you,
When I can’t even protect myself?
Poem and portrait by Mercy aka Itohan Ekle
By Mercy @vien_aout
